USA!!!!!!

What a wonderful day. Time to bring the TTT out of hibernation.



Check out the link below for celebration videos. I can't say Rockbottom in Cincinnati was this crazy, but I know I was hugging people and others were seen climbing on the chairs.

http://goal.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/23/across-the-u-s-an-explosion-of-joy/

What's Crappening, Cincinnati? Vol. 2

By no means do I want to be pigeon-holed as the TTT's Poo beat writer, it's just, sadly, most of my creative brainstorms happen around this movement (oh yes, pun intended). I work at a large company and on my floor alone there are probably 30-40 men, also the lunch room is located on my floor, so, on a given day I'd say 50+ different people use "my" men's room. Our men's room consists of 2 urinals, 2 normal sized stalls, and 1 handicapped stall (aka the luxury stall). So, slim-pickin's.

I, like most people, am rather courteous about keeping public areas clean and neat; however, there are a few out there who subscribe to a different theory of just not caring. The sinks and urinals are kept clean...at least to my standards. The stalls, on the other hand, are not.

Here are my top work bathroom stall pet peeves:
1 - Don't leave toilet paper all over the ground. How does it even get there?
2 - Don't leave your newspapers, magazines or other periodicals in the stall. I don't know you, and I sure as hell don't want to handle what you were handling while you were doing what you were doing.
3 - Flush the toilet. Yes, I know it has an automatic flusher, but sometimes the auto-flush doesn't work...that's why they put a little button on there.
4 - This is the worst. When sanitary toilet seat covers are not available, I (as I assume most people do) create my own sanitary seat cover with toilet paper. However, once done with my "duty" (zing!, that's pun #2(and that's #3)) I dispose of the TP (or "sani-seat" cover) in the toilet, like most normal humans. My problem is....there is at least one person on my floor that leaves his homemade TP "sani-seat" on the toilet seat, as if the next person is going to come in and use it. Really? Isn't that it's original purpose, to protect you from others?

I think this rant sounded better in my head. Hope you enjoyed it though.

-F4ST out.

To all the TTT readers - sorry if this was too much.
To the TTT writers - feel free to delete this if you think its crap (#4)
To my mom - aren't you proud? And let me know what typos I made and I'll be sure to fix them.

Shadowhare on the Prowl

Time To Clean Out The Cincy Subway

What an amazing time we are living in!

The American automobile industry is about to collapse, and all our Republican lawmakers want to do is use this tremendous opportunity to break the backs of the U.A.W. once and for all. This little game of Russian roulette seems awfully damned reckless. After all, once one of these companies goes down, so goes their dealiers, and their suppliers who also supply the other two of the big three. While of course no one really knows what will happen after the first domino in the chain falls over, predictions are that this could put as many as 10 Million out of work. I mean, half a Mil new workers filed for unemployment benefits last month, and that news was generally received as a grim statistic.

Ten Million!

Oh, and should I offer the worn out observation that when it came to bailing out AIG or the other Wall Street investment firms, no Republican was crying about the injustice of those workers' wages and benefits on a "per hour" basis? I should? OK, well, observation so offered then.

But I'm not here to bitch about the Republicans. I'm here to talk about mass transit.

Today, Matthew Yglesias writes:

James Fallows writes about the rapidly expanding Beijing Metro — which has added several lines and extended others just during Fallows time living in China. This seems like an incredibly smart decision on the part of the Beijing government. Contemplating new heavy rail transit projects tends to become dizzyingly expensive and difficult. And yet when you look back at a Washington or a Boston or a Chicago — or even more so a New York or a Paris or a London — it’s clear that investments made in such projects long ago continue to pay enormous dividends, allowing for the creation of pockets of human and economic activity that simply could never be contemplated absent the existence of some high-capacity transit nodes.

By investing in this sort of thing at a moment that’s still pretty early in the game relative to China’s economic development, the PRC is helping to provide its capital with a set of advantages that will likely far outlast the current regime.

Beijing has apparently learned the lesson of the Cincinnati Subway.

Wikipedia reports,

By the turn of the 20th century Cincinnati was one of the ten largest cities in the United States, and had a rate of growth and economic importance that was similar to that of New York City and Chicago.

Today? Wikipedia tells us that if you combine all the surrounding counties in Ohio, Kentucky, and three from Indiana, Cincinnati is the 24th largest metro area in the US.

Oh, but there's this,

In August, 2008 Forbes magazine ranked Cincinnati as tenth in a list of "America's Hard-Drinking Cities".

That's something.

With all of that said, here's my question. Considering that our economy is fucked; that unemployment is already bad; that we're about to let a huge chunk of our manufacturing sector basically die, if for no other reason than to teach those damned rabble-rousing union organizers a fucking lesson they'll never forget; that Obama wants to stimulate the economy with public works projects; that cars create traffic nightmares and contribute to global warming; and that the return on investment on trains is documented to be both substantial and long-lasting ....

Might it be the time to look at finally completing the Cincinnati Subway, and even expanding it?

Ordinarily, there would be about a dozen reasons that could be readily thrown up against this idea. But the times are anything but ordinary.

____________
As a footnote, the quick info box on the wikipedia page on the Cincinnati Subway is pretty hilarious:

Info
Locale: Cincinnati, Ohio
Transit type: Rapid transit
Number of lines: 1
Number of stations: 3

Operation
Began operation: Never
Owner: SORTA

Technical
System length: 2.2 mi (3.54 km)
Track gauge: Broad gauge

Cincinnati Dump-Accompaniment

Conway, any reaction?
I had a good laugh at Stewart the other night and would have forgotten to post this had it not been for C. Trent. You can watch the clip there.

Vote Early, Rock Late Part 2

More pics from last night's event

Vote Early, Rock Late

Well, a good time was had by all tonight in downtown Cincinnati at Fountain Square.
The Breeders came on early banging out their usual bag of hits including Divine Hammer, Cannonball, and a cover of The Beatles Happiness Is A Warm Gun.
They were followed by several speakers who at this point in the election process are pretty much talking to a large group of people who really don't need to be swayed.
Which is dumb, unless the speaker is Natalie Portman. Her speech was short just like her stature, but nobody seemed to mind. She knew that it really didn't matter what she said, but promised to party with us later (still wondering where that's taking place).
Natalie finished her speech by introducing The National who came out and rocked the Square.
It's events like this that make me hope Ohio remains a battleground state long into the future.

Photo of the Day: Ear Power

Courtesy: The Enquirer/Michael E. Keating

Barack Obama pointed out that he and Trevor Fox shared the same ears. The Democratic candidate for president stopped in Georgetown, Ohio, at the Fireside Restaurant.

Quote of the Day Details a Cincinnati Woman's Future Hygiene Habits...

From Cincinnati.com:

Jenny Justice, 54, of New Richmond, got to shake Obama's hand after the Ault Park rally.

"I'm never going to wash my hands again," she said. "I just shook the hand of the next president of the United States."

Obama in Cincinnati

Thousands of supporters greet Barack Obama at a campaign rally in Cincinnati's Ault Park on Thursday.

Conway Bangs is Alive!!!

We were worried. And when the press broke about this mad cow, which we initially thought was Cedric Benson arriving in Cincinnati, we thought you'd been "milked."
Share in the groove, Conway!

Cincinnati Reds Baseball: The Formula to a Dynasty That Continues to Field a Collection of Men Who Wear Baseball Uniforms During Professional Contests

Surprisingly to many, men who once wore Reds uniforms were once professionals who succeeded at their task

The Off-Season Begins, Now.

My favorite sports season has begun: the baseball off-season, the time of year when the Reds have the best chance in baseball at winning the World Series, along with the other teams. Glorious for Reds fans is the fact that our off-season starts much earlier than many of the teams in the Majors. The off-season is a crucial period, especially these early weeks, when the Reds always take advantage of all those suckers still playing baseball in October.

(You see, this off-season the Reds will make all the right moves to bring home the pennant next year; I fall victim every time.)

Seriously, if anyone was serious about winning in future seasons, why wouldn't they tank in the present to give future prospects more playing time and their management more time to prepare for the following season? Even the reckless-as-the-Bush-administration Ryan Freel has grown to know when enough's enough.

And, with all that time spent playing pennant-race and post-season ball, think of all those players risking injury. Who are they to put a championship first, in front of the future of the club? It doesn't make any sense. The end of the regular season is a time to "shut her down," have that corrective surgery, spend a few more minutes in the training room, maybe a little extra time in the whirlpool, but definitely not a time for legging out an infield single. Chances are you pull your groin or a hammy. Then what? Exactly. No golf for at least a week.

Masters of the Off-Season Dynasty: The Cincinnati Reds and the Formula for Continuing to Field a Collection of Men Who Wear Baseball Uniforms

Hope springs eternal nowhere like in the off-season for Cincinnati Reds fans. The Reds, for the past 15 years or so (let us not count the one game playoff against Al Leiter and the New York Mets in 1999 when Barry Larkin could have caught a serious cold in that Wasilla-like weather), have epitomized this brand of smart baseball. In fact you could call them a dynasty. No other team has done as much to assure its fans that next season would be promising like the front office of the Reds, and no other franchise has done its best to assure fans of a respectably humble season finish like the Reds.

Finishing any higher than 4th raises too many eyebrows in the Midwestern, family values-oriented town of Cincinnati. In 2006, when the Reds finished 3rd, many wondered if that were too lofty; some called the Reds management "elitist." Likely as a result, then-Reds manager Jerry Narron was rightly fired by July of the 2007 season. He was replaced by the much-less ambitious Pete MacKanin.

Narron's goals may have been too much, too soon, and in this light perhaps the polar opposite of the Reds' sure-formula for existing for so long as as a franchise who lets men wear real baseball outfits during actual professional contests at large stadiums filled with on-lookers who are not paid to be there.

The Secret Formula as Might Have Been Found next to a Nazi Armband during the Auction of the Schott Estate

The secret sauce is composed of something like this: acquire young players already the recipients of some hype, medium hype, or event a lot of hype, and then apply some home-cooked Skyline Chili-powered ultimate hype pump fans' expectations astronomically. In recent years, this has been the promise of Homer Bailey and Jay Bruce, and, before them, Austin
Kearns and Brandon larson; remember him?

Remember when Todd Coffey was getting some hype and believed to be a better pitcher than mascot Mr. Red?

The formula is genius, especially in a small market town like Cincinnati. It would not work in New York.

So the first part of the formula is the Savior. Promise the Savior to the second part of the formula, a receptive Congregation of fans. Have the Reds' baseball Clergy and media Emmisaries promise fans a Deliverance from baseball Hell through this Savior. Promise them a player so great that he would even Sacrifice his body and actually bleed during games for them (leave out the notion that he would not let fans eat his body and drink his blood). Promise them a player who would deliver a Heavenly World Series championship, and one who would live his life without fallacy, someone like Pete Rose. Promise Faithful fans a God-send who would love the city of Cincinnati and all its inhabitants unconditionally (again, leave something out - that the player was heard praying after being drafted: "Father, why have thou forsaken me?" Also leave out that the player plays for a sinful amount of cash). And promise the Faithful that they would have ample opportunity to adore their hero via tasteful endorsements, `a la Bronson Arroyo and J.T.M. hamburgers. Maybe I meant "tasty" endorsements.

Anyway, let the formula play out so that it's really subtly familiar, hmmm, something a lot like a famous story they've heard before, something that's so familiar they probably do it ever week (or at least at Christmas and Easter), something so routinely familiar that they can't tell the difference between the formula and their routine. Let the formula repeat for generations until the formula is blended in with ritual to the point that it needs little or no guidance, much less victories. At this point the formula is working so well that the fans need Reds baseball to feel that life is whole. They don't need it to be good; they just need it to be.

With guys like Homer Bailey and Brandon Larson promised to deliver Reds fans from the MLB abyss, the formula is destined to succeed.

How the Formula Plays Out

The formula begins each offseason like the sun's rays on a clear morning. Birds are chirping, squirrels are gathering acorns, and maybe drinking from the Hudy Delights you left half-finished on the porch. After shaking off a brief hangover (you can't get that drunk from Hudy, nor can you get that elated from any Reds season with the formula), a few weeks of grumbling, fans renew their faith: "You know, the Reds could be a sleeper next year" turns into "Actually I think they'll win the division if they can pick up a 5th starter." By the commencement of the winter meetings, even your friend who swore them off during the strike declares that he has beer-bonged the Kool-Aid.

The formula delivers it's bread and butter during the orgy of off-season signings and acquisitions. Grown men hide wet dreams from their wives that they had about other grown men, typically starting pitchers with names like Erik Bedard or Joe Blanton. Sometimes the dreams come to fruition and the Reds land that big fish, guys like Eric Milton or Alex Gonzalez.

Finally, the best part of the sports season comes to a close and the actual playing begins. In taking the field, the Reds, game by game, wither grown men's dreams away and by the All-Star break the cycle is complete; only one piece is left: the Savior, the guy who will make next year better.

The Reds Will Win 100 Games Next Year

No one knows the joy of the off-season quite like a Reds fan, who opens mlbtraderumors.com each morning like a kid at Christmas, just wondering what precious free agent gifts await him in his RSS feed.

What's in store for the Reds this off-season? Will Santa bring them again the gift of Corey Patterson, a once-young and rising star who may have reached home more times with Dusty's daughter than at Great American? Or will Cincinnati be graced with a Jeff Conine, or some other golden-oldie who's "a great clubhouse presence?"

Conine struck out here, but his bat and wristband helped him reach second base after the game

No matter what other cubic zirconia is delivered via the formula to our fallen phoenix, one thing is already certain: a new star is slated to rise after a brief stop in the AAAshes. For 2009, its Yonder Alonso.

Bienvenido a Cincinnati, Yonder; there's the on-deck circle and Reds' management and media has already inserted into your helmet the crown of thorns worn by Jay Bruce this past season. Make sure its snug.

Batter up!

TTT Guest Correspondent on Location: "The Breeders and The National Set to Play for Obama in Cincinnati, FOR FREE!

A friend of the TTT sends this fine information:

Haven't quite figured out whether The T3 is for or against this Obama fella I've been hearing about on Channel 1 lately, but noteworthy in itself is local-boys-done-well The National melting faces for free on our very own former hotbed of Klan activity, Fountain Square. The Breeders have written some jamz, too.

Fightin' the good fight a hop, skip, and a jump from Parker Flats.

Not sure if this is Trail-worthy, but there it is.

Please keep the good news coming. Now I head home, hopefully with enough petrol in the tank to make it, to prep for the debate.