Kobe Declares Self Undefeated in Championships (of Jumping Cars)

Some Carpark, Los Angeles - Kobe Bryant held a press conference today calling out all automobiles of all makes and axles, challenging them the and their sissy drivers to come out of hiding and meet him in a parking lot anytime, anyplace, so long as there would be enough advance notice for CGI technicians to get set up before the main event.

Said Kobe, "My career as a spokesman for high-tops has never reached a higher pinnacle and I just want to push for more unparalleled success, to a point where all my critics shut there pie holes, shortly after marveling at my life and stating emphatically, 'Now that was a man who could be on the Youtube.'"

Kobe, before leaving the conference, announced that his next Youtube jump would be entirely wreckless and would incorporate jumping bail after being booked for any future sex offenses, if any would happen to come up, that is.

Nani J. Cootsack for Tricky Trail Sports

An Inconvenient Truth .... About David Lee Roth, Vol. 1

Whoa-oa-oa, hey you!
Who said that?
Baby, how you been?
You say you don't know-ow-ow
Won't know until it begins.

- Lyrics from Jump, off of Van Halen's 1984.

As a contributor to this blog, The Tricky Trail Times (or, "Hey it's a name until we think of somethng cooler than a six-year-old's game"), I will periodically explore one of the more complex, compelling, and yet somehow grossly misunderstood figures in pop culture history:

David Lee Roth

During Van Halen's heyday, Rolling Stone described David Lee Roth as, "the most obnoxious singer in human history, an achievement notable in the face of long tradition and heavy competition." Wikipedia similarly blasphemes with this remark: "[Roth's] often humorous and campy lyrics, were integral to Van Halen's sound."

To this I say: bullshit!

To understand David Lee Roth, the man, the philosopher, the embodiment of a generation's social consciousness, one must understand the incisive wisdom lain bare in his poetic lyrics. Moving forward, I plan to illuminate this wisdom. Stay tuned ...