Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Monday, June 29, 2009

Remembering Michael Jackson

I couldn't put it better than rapper-turned-actor Ice-T did (man, if I had a dollar for every time I said that ...):

No matter how tough you are, Michael Jackson will have the biggest gangster in the front row screaming like a bitch at his concert. That's about the best compliment you can give.


I would only add that I did have the pleasure of seeing Michael Jackson perform at Wembley Stadium in London, England in the summer of 1997. No shit. It was phenomenal. I doubt very seriously that he sung more than the odd line per song, if that, but it was hands down the greatest concert I have ever seen, bar none. And really, second place isn't even close.

Actually, you could argue it was not so much a musical performance as it was performance art. You tend to overlook the lack of live vocals due to the sheer spectacle unfolding before your eyes.

Trying to explain why Michael Jackson's death to our eight-year-old, Rodney "Warm Rod" Lincoln, Jr., has been a trip. Think about it - how do you explain the death of Michael Jackson to someone for whom Michael Jackson means absolutely nothing? The best I've been able to come up with is to have him imagine if Miley Ray Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, and Zach and Cody (from the "Suite Life") all died.

But even that doesn't capture it adequately. One thing that has been interesting to read in all of the handwringing over MJ's passing is the racial bariers he broke down. I missed that on the first go round; and that has kind of blown my mind.

Off the Wall came out in 1979, a year in which I was riding big wheels, going to preschool, and otherwise living large. Thriller came out in late 1982, and dominated the charts and MTV for the next 18+ months. In this span, I rode a two-wheeler (sans training wheels) and completed first and second grade.

I don't have any concept of a pre-Michael Jackson world in which the barriers he broke down still existed. They say before Michael Jackson, MTV didn't play "black music." In hindsight, I say, "Well, I guess that explains why Culture Club got so much play back then." (alternate joke: "flash forward 30 years, and MTV isn't playing any "white music," either. They call that progress.").

Seriously, though, it is amazing to think about being among the first of an era who don't find anything unusual about the crossover appeal of a guy like Michael Jackson. Likely this is not as mindblowing as being in first grade the same year that schools were integrated in the 1950's. Still, it's interesting to have something that I always thought of as ordinary characterized as anything but.

I have been listening to what I guess was probably my second or third copy of Off the Wall (I seem to remember having a couple of cassettes back in the day), and I'll probably download Thriller from iTunes soon. I'm getting all caught up in the nostalgia.

I'm willing to overlook the wierdness and the allegations of what he did to young boys - I think those allegations smack of greed, opportunism, and extortion just enough to entitle MJ to he benefit of the doubt that he actually molested anyone. But it's a close call.

I am choosing to remember what all of Michael Jackson's music meant to me as a kid, when he was the biggest star in the universe. The years of 1979 - 1984 were good, happy years for the Hot Rod, and Michael Jackson supplied a healthy number of cuts to the soundtrack of that time. I couldn't get enough of his music and I wanted to know everything there was to know about him. By the time he jumped off the deep end in the late '80's, I had already moved on to other musical obsessions, but damned if Off the Wall and Thriller don't stand up to the test of time.

Had he been able to pull off his comeback shows in London, he would have slayed people. I would have purchased the DVD's. I would have been transported - magically - back to those great, carefree years, just as I was in 1997 in Wembley Stadium.

Wasn't meant to be, I guess. Our loss.

The only other thing I can think to say, and it should be said, is that obviously Michael Jackson was a deeply, deeply troubled soul. One can only hope he has found some peace now.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Your Tax Dollars "At Work"

Someone at the US DOT Googled the term "show me your genitals" with a DOT computer.
Nani wants to hear your thoughts... What do you think?

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Jeff Brantley Catches Thief "Reds" Handed

While feasting on a full rack of dripping pork ribs and a basket of ketchup-soaked french fries during a recent June evening baseball broadcast, 45-year old Cincinnati Reds announcer Jeff "The Cowboy" Brantley suddenly feasted eagle eyes on Brandon Phillips, who was chomping on some pretzels at second base. The former Reds closer, cheeks specked with an unidentified-but-zesty-looking condiment dip, shouted, "Aha, I Gotcha!" from the Great American Ballpark radio booth so loudly, that 63% of the Reds radio audience tuning into 700 WLW temporarily went deaf.

The short-sleeve dresshirted Brantley, known for his love of eating food of virtually any variety so long as it's covered in something with the consistency of gravy or Montgomery Inn BBQ sauce, or literally doused with a mixture of the two, made haste from the booth to confront Phillips, who he believed to be playing a prank by stealing his pretzels.

Booth mate Marty Brennaman reported that Brantley was overheard yelling. "They think it's so damn funny when they take my snacks! I'll show 'em funny!" he shouted, with the belly of his shirt stained by some rogue grape jelly that had abandoned its English muffin while he was dining at Denny's that morning.

In the end, Phillips was left unassailed and safely remained in the game due to the half-dozen vendors that distracted The Cowboy on his way to the field. Brantley, having eaten every variety of Skyline chili, LaRosa's pizza, frosty malt and fried bologna sandwich, between the booth and the field, only to top it all off with a jumbo sized cotton candy and bucket of popcorn, was ultimately too content to care about his burgled pretzels.

Having returned to the booth where Brennaman wasn't sure if it was blood or BBQ inhabiting the corners of Brantley's mouth, the Cowboy sighed under his breath, "There's 162 games in the season and I'll have my day. Mr. Phillips, I'll see you in hell; though more likely I'll see you at the Montgomery Inn Boathouse."

Then inexplicably, The Cowboy murmured the word "smokin'," and fell sound asleep, his hand reaching for Marty's brattwurst with spicy mustard.

Native Northern Kentuckian Enjoys Onion Story about Brandon Phillips and Pretzels

ATLANTA--A Native of northern Kentucky now living in Atlanta, Georgia, who grew up a diehard fan of the Cincinnati Reds, thoroughly enjoyed reading today's blurb in The Onion about Brandon Phillips eating Rold Gold pretzels while manning second base. Reached for comment, current Atlantan Nani J. Cootsack mused, "I liked the article about Brandon Phillips. I like BP, and I think he does just as well when he's packin' snacks. Although it gets a little wacky when he brings a cup of Kool-Aid out there too."

"It brought back memories of attending my Dad's softball games," the hungry 32-year old continued, "watching him pitch with a handful of pretzels in his glove hand and a can of Frito Lay's Mild Cheddar cheese dip in his back pocket. He ate the long thick pretzels though and usually would conceal them in his sock. He'd get so focused on eating pretzels and dip, that sometimes he'd forget the softball and serve up a watermelon in the form a puck-sized can of queso. Good thing his catcher wore a bib."
For reference, The Onion entry:

CINCINNATI—Claiming he just needed "a little something to nibble on," Reds second baseman Brandon Phillips brought out a glove full of miniature Rold Gold pretzels as a "between-pitches snack" during Tuesday night's game against the Braves. "Let's get 'em, guys," said Phillips, who perfectly timed his crunching with the crack of the bat to remove any suspicion. "Whattayasay now, infield! Let's turn two, let's, mmm, is that honey mustard?" Phillips was later marked with an error after scooping up a ground ball and accidentally showering shortstop Alex Gonzalez with a handful of pretzels while taking a bite out of the game ball.

Friday, June 19, 2009

ManBabies. Kind of creepy. Kind of funny.


http://manbabies.com

PETA, this is why people hate you (continued)

Even losers like Eric Cantor and John Boehner don't stretch this far to critize Obama.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Putting the "ASS" Back in "clASSy Tatoo"



Nice!

UPDATE! This apparently references a pretty nasty film depicting some of the more, ahem, "creative" entries on urbandictionary.com. I must confess, I had no idea.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Holy Fuck: Look What Chrysler's Done!

Last night I was listening to the radio. The NBA was on, though I didn’t care much. However, a Chrysler ad came one… I should say a “New Chrysler” ad came on and I knew the song playing the background… but couldn’t immediately place it. Turns out it was Holy Fuck’s “Lovely Allen,” which on its own is a nice song fitting for any seeking-to-inspire ad. But my first thought was: If you’re Chrysler, and you sell cars to old people and Michael Scott, how beneficial will it be when your target segment finds out you’ve partnered with what they’ll perceive to be a totally irreverent oxymoron. Actually, the Michael Scott crowd might think the band name rocks. Nevermind.


Quick search showed one other blogger had the same reaction as I did: http://stereogum.com/archives/commercial-appeal/holy-fuck-help-chrysler-build-a-new-car-company_069511.html

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Wow. Project Natal for XBox 360

This thing is so cool it made me forget that I find Jimmy Fallon incredibly annoying.

Bush's Legacy...

From Andrew Sullivan:

The Aftermath Of Bush's Fiscal Vandalism

Shawn Tully worries about the coming debt crisis:
It can't go on forever, and it won't. What will shock America into action is the prospect of fiscal collapse, which will grow more vivid each year. In 2008 federal borrowing accounted for 41% of GDP, about the postwar average. By 2019 the burden will double to 82% by the CBO's reckoning, reaching $17.3 trillion, nearly triple last year's level. By that point $1 of every six the U.S. spends will go to interest, compared with one in 12 last year. The U.S. trajectory points to the area that medieval maps labeled "Here Lie Dragons." After 2019 the debt rises with no ceiling in sight, according to all major forecasts, driven by the growth of interest and entitlements. The Government Accountability Office estimates that if current policies continue, interest will absorb 30% of all revenues by 2040 and entitlements will consume the rest, leaving nothing for defense, education, or veterans' benefits.

To understand why a massive tax increase, probably a VAT, is the mostly likely outcome, it's crucial to look at what's driving the long-term, widening gap between revenues and spending.

Put simply, spending is following a steep upward curve, while revenues are basically fixed as a portion of GDP. Why? Because future spending is driven mostly by entitlements, which are programmed to rise far faster than national income, while revenues depend heavily on the personal income tax, which yields receipts that typically rise or fall with GDP. Under George W. Bush, the U.S. experienced a prelude to the crisis before us: Spending rose rapidly, while revenues remained reasonably flat. Bush created an expensive new entitlement, the Medicare drug benefit (cost this year: $63 billion), and let spending on domestic programs from education to veterans' benefits run wild. Over seven years the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq added a total of some $900 billion to the budget. All told, Bush raised spending from 18.5% to 21% of GDP, setting in motion a chronic budget gap by piling on new spending without paying for it.
Sullivan: The magnitude of the damage Bush did is still amazing. But when those tax increases come, they need to have his name attached to them. He made them inevitable; and deserves to go down in history for them.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Every stage has its props...

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Phoenix

Check it. Great song. Great band.