Saturday, June 20, 2009

Native Northern Kentuckian Enjoys Onion Story about Brandon Phillips and Pretzels

ATLANTA--A Native of northern Kentucky now living in Atlanta, Georgia, who grew up a diehard fan of the Cincinnati Reds, thoroughly enjoyed reading today's blurb in The Onion about Brandon Phillips eating Rold Gold pretzels while manning second base. Reached for comment, current Atlantan Nani J. Cootsack mused, "I liked the article about Brandon Phillips. I like BP, and I think he does just as well when he's packin' snacks. Although it gets a little wacky when he brings a cup of Kool-Aid out there too."

"It brought back memories of attending my Dad's softball games," the hungry 32-year old continued, "watching him pitch with a handful of pretzels in his glove hand and a can of Frito Lay's Mild Cheddar cheese dip in his back pocket. He ate the long thick pretzels though and usually would conceal them in his sock. He'd get so focused on eating pretzels and dip, that sometimes he'd forget the softball and serve up a watermelon in the form a puck-sized can of queso. Good thing his catcher wore a bib."
For reference, The Onion entry:

CINCINNATI—Claiming he just needed "a little something to nibble on," Reds second baseman Brandon Phillips brought out a glove full of miniature Rold Gold pretzels as a "between-pitches snack" during Tuesday night's game against the Braves. "Let's get 'em, guys," said Phillips, who perfectly timed his crunching with the crack of the bat to remove any suspicion. "Whattayasay now, infield! Let's turn two, let's, mmm, is that honey mustard?" Phillips was later marked with an error after scooping up a ground ball and accidentally showering shortstop Alex Gonzalez with a handful of pretzels while taking a bite out of the game ball.

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