The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 74

Epic takedown. And not from the lib-rul elites; from a local yocal.

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 73? "The Governor Needed a Break..."

Let's invoke this line if/when this person tries to run in 2012... but let's wait until she wins the primary.

On the same day that Sarah Palin told CNN, "I am not a quitter; I am a fighter," her personal lawyer told the media:

"The governor needed a break after being on duty now for two and a half years solid."

Part of me hopes she'll make a run. I mean, that was the most entertaining election and fallout that I can remember in my young life.

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 73

The Christmas season is upon us, and so too is the spirit of giving. There is one gift that just keeps on giving. And giving. And giving. And she is in the news again today: Sarah Palin.

It turns out that her baby's baby-daddy's mama (that would be the mother of Bristol's impregnator, Levi Johnston), got arrested on drug charges in Wasilla, a small town that continues to live up to its title as the meth capital of Alaska.

Sadly, there is nothing remarkable about this story in a vacuum. If you look hard enough, in any town or city in America, you can find a scenario like this playing out - teenage pregnancies, high school drop-outs, drug trafficking charges all within the same family, and sometimes even connected to a local family of some prominence. It never ceases to amaze me, however, that millions of Americans voted in favor of having this all-too-familiar redneck drama play out one heartbeat away from the oval office. And, on the ticket purporting to represent "traditional family values" no less. I mean, for Pete's sake, you can find a better example of "traditional family values" watching The Osbournes.



I never realized that this was the sort of thing to be celebrated. What's next? Republican-sponsored programs to increase teen pregnancy and family drug trafficking? Step right up and emulate the Republicans' would-be Second Family!!

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 72: a Fourth Photographic Question Mark

Andrew Sullivan continues to ask about Sarah Palin's tragic-yet-trophy pregnancy and the controversy over whether or not Trig is really her son. Sullivan, this go-'round, shines a light on an image of Sarah Palin that was allegedly taken 3 weeks before the birth of Trig. Compare that to a photo of her pregnant with a previous child (below):
Some money analysis from Sullivan from a somewhat extensive entry:

Maybe this photo has been photo-shopped. Maybe Palin had an anomalous pregnancy that showed far, far less than her previous ones, one that went from close to nothing to a serious bump in two weeks. Maybe the angle in the photo is misleading, and leaning toward us her pregnancy is concealed. Maybe her fifth labor really did take 26 hours combined via a speaking engagement (as amniotic fluid was leaking) and an 11 hour airplane flight (when a birth could have begun at any moment at extreme risk to the child), and maybe the bizarre and, to my mind, incredible stories she has told about the pregnancy and labor are true (there is still a chance they are). But if all these things are true, the Palin camp has had months to provide what would be instantly available records to dismiss all and every "insane" blog speculation about this. And yet none came - on or off the record.

A bit later:

Actually, the Dish went out and interviewed eight of the leading obstetricians in the country and laid out all the facts of the case and asked the experts for their take. While none would say that this pregnancy could not have happened, and none would comment on a case they hadn't examined personally, all of them said it was one of the strangest and unlikeliest series of events they had ever heard of and found Palin's decision to forgo medical help for more than a day after her water broke and risk the life of her unborn child on a long airplane trip to be reckless beyond measure.

And finally:

All I know is: the media refuses to ask and doesn't want to know and failed to demand medical records. All I know is that some journalists - like the Washington Post's Howie Kurtz - even tried to discredit the integrity of bloggers for asking. And yet in the campaign, the pregnancy and baby were offered at every moment as a reason to vote for Palin. If the Bridge To Nowhere is worth checking out, why aren't the pregnancy's bizarre details? Without the Down Syndrome pregnancy, Palin would not have had the rock-star appeal to the pro-life base that contributed to her selection. She made it a political issue by holding up the baby at the convention.

I do not know the truth and have never claimed that Palin is lying. I have always stated that bringing a baby with Down Syndrome into the world is a noble and beautiful thing. I have simply asked, given the implausible, if possible, circumstances, that a person running for vice-president provide some basic evidence for a very strange and unclear story. For a photograph of Palin pregnant with one of her previous children, see below. Compare and contrast. Remember that, as a general rule, pregnant mothers show more with each successive pregnancy. Remember also, as a general rule, that successive labors come more quickly. I think it's time Palin's doctor, Catherine Baldwin-Johnson talked to the press, don't you think? And that the McCain campaign tell us exactly what they knew and asked all along.

Like Sullivan, the TTT just wants some concrete answers, no matter what the answers may be.

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 71 - Chambliss Credits Palin With Helping Him Climax

Saxby Chambliss won the Senate run-off election in Georgia. Or as I like to imagine his name being pronounced with a heavy lisp, Ttthhhaktthhby Chamblittthhh (why do I think that is so funny?). You probably didn't hear since our Georgia correspondent, Nani J. Cootsack, has been too lazy to report on the story.

Anyway, something else you may have missed is Chambliss thanking Palin for her service on the campaign trail.

Someone call Rich Lowry.

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 70

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 69 / The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Well, Bless me! The Hot Rod gets to author the 69th installment of the Sarah Palin Files! (Actually, I think Part 48 was a two-parter, so Nani may have robbed me of the honor from a purely technical standpoint).

ANYWAY, given Charlie Daniels' politics, I'm sure he'd be appalled that I have used the reference to the only song he is known for to describe Caribou Barbie's trip to Georgia.

Palin of course, is there to campaign for the man who, more so than any one else on God's green earth, has got to be thankful he was not born with a lisp, Georgia Republican Senator, Saxby Chambliss. If there is a more pretentious, faux-old money, southern aristocratic sounding name out there, I'd like to know about it. But I don't think there is.

Oh, did I mention that Saxby Chambliss is a Vietnam-era draft-dodger, turned modern-day chicken-hawk, who, in his free time, attacks triple-amputee Vietnam veterans for not being sufficiently patriotic? Yep, he sure is.

This is all too convenient for the Hot Rod. Line 'em up together so I can slap both in the face - Palin for being a (proudly) know-nothing dunce, and Chambliss for being a contemptible bastard.

Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 68 - Palin interview on the set of "Fargo"

Is this a joke? I mean, she really has no sense of context... "I think I'll give an interview in front of a turkey getting slaughtered while I sip on my latte and keep warm under my Burberry scarf."

Here's her actual quote:

“This was neat. I was happy to get invited to participate in this. You need a little bit of levity in this job… It’s nice to get out and do something to promote a local business and to just participate in something that isn’t so heavy handed politics that invite criticism. Certainly we’ll even invite criticism for doing this too, but at least this was fun.”

Levity? Wow, if this is her idea of levity, I'd hate to see her idea of a notion higher on the positive scale than "levity." At this rate, joy or excitement, for example, would include Francis McDormand playing a pregnant cop, don'tcha know?.

In the clip, Palin talks about what she's thankful for: her kids and things like that. Fair enough. Well, it's probably no small secret that Nani is thankful for this turkey not being anywhere the White House for the next 4 years, and hopefully beyond. Nani is thankful that Palin will be again tucked away in Alaska where she can keep us safe from Russia.

For reference:

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 67 / Quote of the Day

Andrew Sullivan on Palin:

Kinda like Clinton with a few dozen IQ points shaved off the top.

Only a few dozen???

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 67

The John McLiar campaign is finally coming clean about the Sarah Palin debacle:



Sorry, but I don't find much virtue in all of this. This isn't "honesty." This is scapegoating. Not that I feel sorry for Sarah Palin for a second. Nope, that witch deserves her fate. But at the same time, I'm sure as hell not going to give McSwine and his crew any "credit" for telling us the truth about Sarah after the fact.

True, McCain's concession speech, from what I've seen and from all I've read, was as classy as his campaign was classless. Nevertheless, they lied to us for over two months. And to paraphrase the McCain campaign itself: underneath a pretty speech is the ugly truth - John McCain is a dishonorable liar.

Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 66

This is absolutely unforking believable. Sarah Palin gets pranked by two Canadian radio comedians. Palin believes she is talking to French President Sarkozy. "Sarkozy" doesn't just ask her if her refrigerator is running. He speaks to her for 5 minutes. She pulls several "Palins," including believing that Sarkozy's wife, who the prankster described as "hot in bed," wrote a song for Palin. The song, which the first said in French, Sarkozy said was "Joe the Plumber," but the actual English translation would be "Lipstick on a Pig." Even Nani's out-of-training ears picked up the word "cochonne" but he read some blogger comments to make sure.

Anyway, enough spoilers. Have a listen:

The best part, for Nani, is when the Sarkozy character lauds the "documentary" he saw about her life, Hustler's "Nailin' Palin." She's so oblivious that she thanks "Sarkozy" and confirms that she knows about the "documentary."

At right is a still frame from the "documentary" about Palin. This is ostensibly where Palin studies up on foreign policy in the case that she'll ever have to do more than see Russia from Alaskan mountains. Priceless.

Another shot from the "documentary" proves the Ruskies are gazing right back through U.S. airspace at those very same Alaskan mountains.

Money quote from Ezra Klein, who also was awestruck by the Palin's "conversation" with Sarkozy:

It's fascinating hearing Palin fall onto sound bites in real time. You have to admire the sort of message discipline that connects the career of Carla Bruni to the second wind of of late campaign tightening. But if she jabs her sound bites in with surprising efficiency, Palin doesn't manage to ask a single question during the whole conversation. She's fully reactive -- starstruck by Sarkozy's call, but nevertheless incurious about anything he could possibly tell her.

Meanwhile that's one seriously incompetent staff she's got. No one thought to call the French Embassy and check this out?

Sarah Palin, Nani loves the fact that you think you can be president someday. That's adorable.

And scary as F

AP Headline Makes Nani Urinate in His UnderRoos

"Palin says Obama infomercial short on specifics"

Turns out someone was short on the specifics of her Pennsylvania location:

Palin received a smattering of boos when she said she was glad to be in the home state of the World Series-champion Philadelphia Phillies. Northwestern Pennsylvania baseball fans favor the Cleveland Indians or Pittsburgh Pirates.

Grandma, she thinks you're a Phillies fan

Brilliant...

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 65

A fascinating look into the McCain-Palin internecine war.

As a footnote to this, I saw McCain flack Nicolle Wallace on David Gregory's show last night, and having previously seen her on other television shows strenuously pushing the McCain party line, I could tell something about her performance was "off." I don't know that I'd go as far as to say she was mailing it in, but certainly, she had lost the fire she displayed in the days after the Palin pick. I remember in particular watching her reject a journalist's suggestion that Palin should face press questions by dismissively stating, "Why should she talk to you? She's going to talk to the American people." Of course, I hated her answer and found her loathsome, but clearly she was passionate about her candidate.

Last night, not so much. I'd call it resignation to fate. It reminded me of this report and Wallace's quote in it:

Wallace declined to engage publicly in the finger-pointing that has consumed the campaign in the final weeks.

"I am in awe of [Palin's] strength under constant fire by the media," she said in an e-mail. "If someone wants to throw me under the bus, my personal belief is that the most graceful thing to do is to lie there."

Like that moment I had during Hardball where I felt sorry for Nancy Pfotenhauer as Chris Matthews took her apart, I am starting to feel sorry for yet another Republican Stepford fembot. I must be getting soft in my anticipation of the impending Obama electoral victory.

As encouraging as the McCain-Palin implosion has been, I still wonder if it will make a difference to voters. It should. We've had eight years of dysfunction, incompetence, and self-righteous idiocy. Time to turn the page.

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 64

A civil war is a-broo-in', with Sarah Palin as the lightning rod (or is it lightnin' in her neck of the woods?).

Quote:

If I read this right, the GOP is set splinter into a trio of factions: the Palin-philes, the Romney remainders, and those excommunicated from the movement for daring to make a lick of sense at one point. Fitting isn't it, that a McCain loss might precipitate his party coming to resemble the factionalism of the Iraqi misadventure they all cooked up in the first place.

I'm a Georgia voter...

The scene at the Dekalb County, Georgia, early voting location at Lianne Levitan Park at Brook Run in Dunwoody, Georgia, was, in two words, calm & steady. Not many people spoke to one another; some talked on cell phones; many read books. All tried to stay warm in the hour-long line on a 36-degree morning. Although people weren't overly talkative, their faces communicated mouthfuls. The telling voter visages could, by my account, be divided into thirds.

One-third were people not giving off an ounce of emotion, maybe too afraid to draw the ire of a rival party supporter or the ire of a party mate they'd turned on, or maybe they were just trying to bear the frigid temperatures.

One-third grimaced, seriously, seemingly under the impression that their vote was an individual attempt to defend REAL AMERICA from certain takeover by ____________ (fill in the blank with Muslims, terrorists, blacks, gays, liberals, socialists, or atheists). I could taste the fear on their faces. (Update: after re-read, this must have been the part of the morning that I was licking peoples' faces in an attempt to cheer them up)

The final third beamed of hope. One black woman in her mid-to-late-20s exited the building and crossed through our line. She smiled ear-to-ear as she looked down at the "I'm a Georgia Voter" sticker which she literally was caressing.

The interesting thing about the racial make-up of the thirds was this: looks of demise could really only be seen on faces of the old guard, white people who looked conservative in appearance and who looked like the ones from McCain/Palin rallies.

On the flip-side, hope, relief, and elation could be seen on a mixture of races and ages, likely indicating, too, a mixture of creeds. And since Americans in 2008 ARE this heterogenous group, it is clear which candidate is capable of uniting America.

Today, I was very proud to be among the group that is turning the page on fear and division in favor of hope and optimism, and I burned into my brain the image of the voting machine screen when my fingertip illuminated an "X" next to Barack Obama and Joe Biden for President and Vice President of the United States of America.

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 63

Quote:

Palin knows nothing, understands even less, and most depressingly she does not seem interested in learning anything. Even in prepared speeches, when she ostensibly has had the time to read and reflect on what she's going to say, she says the most boneheaded things (is it possible that any educated person in her 40s, in 2008, who's gone to college, or even reads a newsmagazine or a newspaper now and then, would not know the importance of fruit flies in basic genetic research?). What's worse Palin is so self-righteous about her own ignorance.

- Commenter, Aris-Akritas, in response to the (believe it or not) non-ironic article, Sarah Palin's A Brainiac on The Daily Beast.

Yeah, I know, do your best to stifle your laughter at that one.

The article in question was written by someone named Elaine Lafferty, a self-identified "Democrat," and self-proclaimed "feminist."

Her argument is basically this: Critics of Palin don't really know Palin (OK, fair enough), and once you get to know her, you see she's actually got the skills to function as well as anyone with an IQ above 80. And for examples of just how smart she is, look at ........ uh, well........ Well, says Lafferty, just trust me - after all, I'm a Democrat and a feminist, so I wouldn't vouch for Palin's intelligence if it was not true.

That's the argument.

Oh, did I mention that Elaine Lafferty is a paid staff member of .... wait for it ... the John McCain campaign? Yep. She is. Don't suppose that's coloring her view of Sarah Palin at all.

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 62

Smackdown: McCain v. Palin!

It's happening. Palin may be as dumb as a post when it comes to national public policy, but give her this: she is a shrewd politician. Those skills actually do translate to the national stage.

There was a trickle of stories coming out about her clashing with the McCain campaign and positioning herself to emerge as the new party standard-bearer after the McCain candidacy fails, as it surely will. Those stories are becoming a steady stream. And you can bet post-November 4th, it's going to be a flood. There's going to be a lot of finger-pointing.

My favorite account (so far) comes from a "second anonymous" McCain staffer, who said of Palin:

"She is a diva. She takes no advice from anyone," said this McCain adviser. "She does not have any relationships of trust with any of us, her family or anyone else.

"Also, she is playing for her own future and sees herself as the next leader of the party. Remember: Divas trust only unto themselves, as they see themselves as the beginning and end of all wisdom."

No shit - you think?

Next time, dumbasses, try vetting yout VP pick. You've created a fucking monster who is going to split your party in two.

Breakin'

Unbelievable McCain Vs. Obama Dance-Off - Watch more free videos

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 61

This crap about Sarah Palin saying that she thinks that the role of the Vice President is to be "in charge" (her words) of the U.S. Senate was obviously ludicrous, and deeply disturbing. After all, in July of this year, she asked (rhetorically we all had hoped) if someone could tell her just what it is that the "V.P." does.

Then, two weeks from the election, we find out the ugly truth: that for all her skill in delivering sarcastic zingers and in slash-and-burn politics, she has no idea what is involved in occupying the office for which she is running.

Ugh.

But for all Palin has done to divide the United States into its various tribes (the pro- and anti-America camps [how's that working out for you, Rep. Bachman (R-MN)]), Palin's latest "PDI" (Public Display of Ignorance) produced one bipartisan moment.

Yes, I actually felt sorry for Republican flack, Nancy Pfotenhauer (I pronounce that, "Puff-n-huffer") when she appeared on Hardball last night.

God, it was brutal - BRUTAL. Matthews was right though - defending Palin's remarks is next to impossible. Watch and cringe: