The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 48

Of Palin's performance in the VP Debate, conservative pundit Rich Lowry wrote:

I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can't be learned; it's either something you have or you don't, and man, she's got it.

Now, for those of us look at Sarah Palin and see not "starbursts," but instead, the word "moron" in neon letters flashing across her rimless glasses, Palin's debate performance was a nonstarter. Every wink, every cutsey crinkle of her face, and every "doggone it" only proved true SNL's observation that when Palin has nothing to say, she tries to increase the "adorability" factor.

This is nothing new. Ever wonder why the talentless tramp Britney Spears has to flaunt her sexuality like.... well, like it is her entire stock in trade? Compare the erstwhile Mrs. Federline to female musicians whose talent and skill are beyond debate - Norah Jones, Sheryl Crow, Alicia Keys - these are just three examples I thought of off the top of my head who are incredibly talented musically, attractive, and yet do not put their good looks and sex appeal front and center. That's because those with substance don't need to resort to such a cheap and transparent gimmick.

So back to Rich Lowry.

He makes no secret that he is mezmorized by the package. Can he see past it? And how many conservatives are just like him - not looking beyond the pretty veneer into the black, empty vacuum where her soul should be?

So here's the question for Mr. Lowry if he wants his opinions to be considered relevant:

Do you masturbate to Sarah Palin?

When Sarah Palin appears on TV, are you tuning out the substance of her remarks so you can focus on mentally recording as much of the visual for a later time - some "Rich time" - when you have some privacy and can beat your cock like it owes you money while thoughts of Palin flood your simple mind?

Because, Mr. Lowry, if you're not - you could have fooled me. You look a little flushed, a little sweaty.

And oh yeah, and your zipper's still down.