Meet the "New Kids," Same As The Old Kids

I damn near spit Coke Zero all over my computer when I read this story about the New Kids on the Block (yes, those New Kids on the Block) reuniting.

I know that "Blockheads" everywhere will cheer the return of the Five Stooges (Pictured, L to R: Larry, Curley ,Shemp, Vanessa, and Squirrel Boy), but for Christ's sake, these assholes are rapidly closing in on 40! 40, I said!

How are they going to deal with that whole issue of making teenage girls swoon being a felony now? And I just love this desciption from Wikipedia about the events leading up to the New Kids' 1993 "swan song":

Faced with the constant derision of people outside their teen market and the
maturation of that base, the fact that they themselves were no longer
teenagers, and that the type of music that had once made them famous had
faded from the lexicon, the group split off from Maurice Starr and signed
with Columbia Records.

Because of course, fifteen years down the road, those issues are going to magically disappear.