Show me your genitals...

this could have been on the soundtrack for the film Idiocracy.

What’s Crappening Cincinnati – Volume 3 – Baseball Style

Naïve Reds catcher, Ryan Hanigan, mysteriously filled his locker with Charmin Ultra Soft before the season began. “I came into this season hoping to be the Reds starting catcher,” explains Hanigan, “but when I heard Hernandez was signed I ran to the grocery store immediately.” Confused? Hanigan apparently took being named the Reds’ “number two catcher” too literally. “When Dusty told me I was going to be the ‘#2 catcher,’ I figured I’d be in for quite a messy season,” Hanigan, seen here chasing down a foul number 2 with TP in hand, tells the TTT. “Now that I know he just meant “backup catcher” I feel like a bit of a boob.”

(I must give credit for this article to my roommate, who stated, while I was watching Reds Live, “Number 2 catcher? That sounds like a terrible job.”)

I've now twice seen this trailer at the cinema and gotten chills both times...

i don't know that i'll need to see the movie. just the trailer...

Awkward Family Photos

Visit this site. It's funny.

Unreal Baseball from 1926: Klan vs. Jews

From The Atlantic: "The results of the strangest baseball game ever are in, and unfortunately the Jews lost. Our only consolation is that we have a stronger lobby. And Kevin Youkilis."

What's Crappening, Cincinnati? Vol. 2

By no means do I want to be pigeon-holed as the TTT's Poo beat writer, it's just, sadly, most of my creative brainstorms happen around this movement (oh yes, pun intended). I work at a large company and on my floor alone there are probably 30-40 men, also the lunch room is located on my floor, so, on a given day I'd say 50+ different people use "my" men's room. Our men's room consists of 2 urinals, 2 normal sized stalls, and 1 handicapped stall (aka the luxury stall). So, slim-pickin's.

I, like most people, am rather courteous about keeping public areas clean and neat; however, there are a few out there who subscribe to a different theory of just not caring. The sinks and urinals are kept clean...at least to my standards. The stalls, on the other hand, are not.

Here are my top work bathroom stall pet peeves:
1 - Don't leave toilet paper all over the ground. How does it even get there?
2 - Don't leave your newspapers, magazines or other periodicals in the stall. I don't know you, and I sure as hell don't want to handle what you were handling while you were doing what you were doing.
3 - Flush the toilet. Yes, I know it has an automatic flusher, but sometimes the auto-flush doesn't work...that's why they put a little button on there.
4 - This is the worst. When sanitary toilet seat covers are not available, I (as I assume most people do) create my own sanitary seat cover with toilet paper. However, once done with my "duty" (zing!, that's pun #2(and that's #3)) I dispose of the TP (or "sani-seat" cover) in the toilet, like most normal humans. My problem is....there is at least one person on my floor that leaves his homemade TP "sani-seat" on the toilet seat, as if the next person is going to come in and use it. Really? Isn't that it's original purpose, to protect you from others?

I think this rant sounded better in my head. Hope you enjoyed it though.

-F4ST out.

To all the TTT readers - sorry if this was too much.
To the TTT writers - feel free to delete this if you think its crap (#4)
To my mom - aren't you proud? And let me know what typos I made and I'll be sure to fix them.

Legend of the Sting 9

Video highlights of the day 9 men held 11 at bay.

Final score: 1-1 (Liljian video guy missed out penalty)

Filipinos set to take over the U.K.

In what was perhaps the most amazing display of ferocity I have ever witnessed in a boxing ring; Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao gobbled up Ricky "The Hitman" Hatton at the MGM Grand in Vegas on Saturday night. This was Hatton, supposedly at the top of his game, taking on the so-called "Pound for pound best fighter in the world." Well folks, I am here to tell you -- it's true. If there's a fighter on the planet who can beat Pacquaio, I'd sure like to meet him.

.Hatton taking a nap
.Pacquiao came out and knocked Hatton down twice in the first round, with a furious attack. Hatton was lucky to make it to his corner -- where a smiling Floyd Mayweather Sr. greeted him. It appeared Hatton might have some life in him fpr the second round after all, but Pacquiao leveled him with an overhand left to the jaw that was so brutal, so shocking, it sent Hatton to the canvas like the family Christmas tree being chopped down by the Griswolds. I looked at one of my buddies and said, "He just fucking killed him. Check his pulse. He's dead." Hatton was out cold for at least two to three minutes and at one point, had to be laid on his side so he could breathe properly. I love pugilism.

I have been an avid boxing fan since the early to mid-80s; following the incredible middleweight division with Sugar Ray, Marvelous Marvin and Thomas Hearns. My friends and I would regularly get together and rent pay per views when Tyson was smashing faces in during the late 80s. Even through boxing's lean times, I have remained a fan and continued to support it, while Don King has singlehandedly ruined the great sport. But, there's no greater spectacle than boxing, as it regularly brings out all the Hollywood types -- see photo: PDiddy, JayZ and British dude who hosted the MTV music awards.


Hatton's fiance, Jennifer Dooley (left in red), who is surpisingly hot for a Brit, wept uncontrollably as they brought Hatton's body bag out. I guess it was a bit inappropriate to read him his last rights in the ring. Not only did Dooley weep, but the 15,000 or so Brits in attendance, wept as well. They played their drums and sang mightily, but that only lasted about 6 minutes -- the time in which it took Pacman to finish off Hatton. It must really suck to wear your best prom dress to a fight and then have your makeup run down your face.




Chelsea winger Joe Cole (left), looked to be feeling quite well at the fight on Saturday night. He's been out of the Premiership lineup, as of late, but it looks like he's found a little tart to help him stay fit. Good for him.

the griswalds ended up in east st. louis...

when those suckers asked me for directions, my boys played pit crew on their tires. now my Italian sports car is killin' on 24s

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