2009 Grammys Random Notes from the Hot Rod

I hate the Grammys; I really do. I would not have watched except for the fact that the Hot Rodette had it on when I came into the room. I loved the Radiohead performance, and I was actually happy to see Robert Plant do so well. But otherwise, I did nothing but bitch the whole time about what a complete bullshit-fest the Grammys are.

My thoughts in more detail:

1. Should be called the "Who-Caresies?" Runner-up name: the "So-Whatsies?"

2. When I walked into the room, Miley Ray Cyrus and Taylor Swift were performing. Actually, I didn't know that was Taylor Swift until I read it in Rolling Stone this morning. That was followed by Stevie Wonder debasing himself by appearing with the Jonas Brothers. The Jonas Brothers cannot hold Stevie Wonder's jock. Stevie needs to implement a rule: "I will not appear on stage with any musician who is incapable of holding my jock, period. No exceptions."

I think I'm gonna hurl...

3. I used to like Coldplay. A lot. What has happened? I don't know.... maybe a totally shitty third album and a hopelessly mediocre fourth? Yep.

4. Jack Black's intro on Paul McCartney .... hilarious.

5. Kanye, Jay-Z, T.I., and Lil Wayne (did you follow that - almost turned into a spelling bee in the middle) performing together one one stage. Described as a "Hip Hop Summit." That, if I'm not mistaken, is what used to be called an "East-Coast / West-Coast rap war."

6. M.I.A., who I don't think I've ever heard of, what the hell were you wearing? Twenty years from now, if not less, her unborn child is going to be appalled that s/he was indirectly wearing that get-up in public.

An instance where words simply fail.

7. I so should have live-blogged the Grammys.

8. The singer, Adele: how did I ever miss her? I'm serious, she's as big as a house, how did I miss her?

9. OK, that was a cheap shot, but in my defense, it is more creative and original, barely, than taking a shot at Jessica Simpson. Further in my defense, Dave Grohl looked really fat too.

The giant mass behind the drum kit is, believe it or not, the Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl.

10. Radiohead with the USC marching band.... wait, is it really Radiohead if only Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood show up? I wonder of the other three guys just said "Fuck the Grammys" and stayed home.

11. Radiohead, Pt.2: how awesome would it be to he in the marching band at Southern Cal? Who's laughing at the band camp geeks now?

12. Katy Perry. The joke tells itself.

13. On a serious note, Jennifer Hudson's performance was very moving. Poor girl's been through a lot.

14. Don't tell anyone, but I kinda liked that song Kanye performed with Estelle (again, had to look her up - no idea who she was).

15. Re: The Four Tops tribute .... this weekend, I happened to catch a documentary on The Funk Brothers, which were the studio musicians who played on I guess all or nearly all of the 1960's Motown records. In a word, Awesome. Check it out if you ever get a chance. I saw it on HDNet Movies. Website here.

16. After being announced as the winner (with Alison Krauss) for Album of the Year by Green Day, ex-Led Zeppelin frontman, Robert Plant, said, "In the old days we would have called this selling out." Was the irony lost on anyone that Green Day presented the award?

17. Yes, Conway, I am aware that Alison Krauss appears on a Phish album.

18. After turning the channel to E! to watch the Girls Next Door, I learned Chris Brown allegedly beat up Rihana, explaining why neither can performed at the Grammys. Finally, the practice of the Thug Life benefits the Hot Rod!!

19. Chris Brown, Pt. 2: No shit, the Hot Rodette actually asked "where's Chris Brown?" during the show without knowing this. She has like 5 Chris Brown songs on her iPod and I never miss an opportunity to tell her what a crime this is.

20. Chris Brown, Pt. 3: Will this alleged incident be the greatest alleged career move of Chris Brown's alleged life? My money's on YES.