W.W.J.D.?

What would Jesus do? Ahhh... the age old question that dates back as far as...... well as far back as some opportunist got the idea to sell ridiculous bracelets to Christian zealots (it's like shooting ducks in a barrel).

As if the W.W.J.D. bracelets weren't bad enough, now Jesus Christ, Inc. (the marketing arm of Christianity) has brought us this:

That's right: the Jesus H. Christ bobble-head doll. Apparently, it will be given away free to the first 100,000 Jesus fans 14 and under who attend the rapture.

But the shameless marketing of Jesus is not what I'm here to talk about today. I want to talk politics, and specifically the, um, "unique" logic of evangelical voters.

According to this article, younger evangelicals are leaving the Republican party. Apparently they are "down with" the GOP's stance on abortion, gay marriage, and stem cell research, but "ain't got no love for" other issues such as social justice, environmental stewardship, the Iraq War, and the rabidly pro-torture position of the modern conservative movement.

Now, am I going to postulate what this all means for the political trends in 2008 and beyond?

No.

Am I going to get on my soapbox and lecture the evangelical readers of this blog (a demographic that no doubt numbers in the tens of thousands) that the Republican party has been playing the abortion card on you for 35 years, yet, remarkably has not brought about their stated goal of outlawing abortion through Supreme Court appointments and so forth, despite reminding you how much they share your views on the intrinsic value of human life in even-numbered (read: election) years?

No. Of course not. Everyone knows I am not that opinionated.

What I'd really like to focus on is the hilarious concept of trying to vote like Jesus. The best line of the article I linked to is this:

Tyler Braun, 23, a Portland seminary student who opposes abortion and gay
rights, said he'll probably vote for Obama because, since he'd would like to see
U.S. troops leave Iraq.

* * *

Braun, the seminary student, said he's not totally committed to any candidate
yet. "I just keep thinking, if Jesus were alive now, he wouldn't necessarily be voting Republican," he said.

Very good, Tyler! No, he wouldn't vote Republican, would he? After all there's that little problem that most evangelicals like to ignore: Jesus isn't an American. Kind of hard to vote in U.S. elections when you would be by birth and by citizenship, an Israeli. I know it's a pesky little fact, one that makes it harder to claim the moral high road as America declare elective wars against people with brown skin in the name of our blonde-haired, blue-eyed, fair-skinned, arayan messiah, who, now that I think about it, does look an awful lot like Fabio.

Hmm. That certainly puts Fabio's career in a whole new light, doesn't it?