Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Brilliant Mind of One George Grande

I think I have blogged about this before, but this one will be more in-depth. Baseball season is here again, which means our ears will once again be blessed by the eloquence of "Hi, Hello, and Welcome" George Grande (seen here wondering how he could use this piece of wood on Chris Welsh). If you are not from the Cincinnati area, or don't get Fox Sports Ohio/Cincinnati, then you may not know who this clown is. He is the play-by-play TV announcer for the Reds, and, quite simply, he is an absolute idiot and number one on my list of people I would like to punch in the face (even above Roethlisberger).

My plan for this year is to keep a journal of all the things he says that don't make sense or just flat out leave me dumbfounded and them send him the journal at the end of the year. We are only 10 games into the season and I have only watched 2 games in their entirety, so my sample size for this season is very small. Nonetheless, here are a few of his "go-to's." (Instead of logging them each time he says them I will just get these out of the way from the start.)
  • He constantly chuckles at his own "jokes" (most aren't actually jokes)
  • He introduces nearly every player that approaches the plate with "well, you all know his story"
  • He calls Chris Welsh's house "The Ponderosa" at least once a game
  • He says "Best Darn Sports Show" instead of "damn"
  • And (my least favorite) he says "hit good" instead of "hit well" on every ball that is hit somewhat deep into the outfield.
(I know there are many more, but I that is all I can think of at the moment).

So, regarding individual, non-staple statements, here is the start of my journal of George Grande quotes:

1-"Barbara Bush is truly one of America’s treasures."

2-"In the WBC (World Baseball Classic) Joey Votto, ironically, went home to Toronto to play for team Canada."

3-"Ironically, if that ball wouldn’t have hit Harang’s glove it would have been a double play." (This one I am not 100% on, but every time he says "ironically" I just assume it is not ironic).

4-(I have to set the scene first for this one, pulled singles through the hole between 3rd and SS, a left-hander batter then came up and sliced the ball through the same hole>) “After the first two singles “Batter X” also went the other way with a single.”

Well, that's my first installment. For more information on the worst baseball announcer ever, you can visit his myspace page.

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