Monday, April 27, 2009

"One for Dinner, One for Midnight"

Living in Atlanta, I have the displeasure of listening to the Braves radio guys on 96.1. They're the kind of guys, I think one of them is Don Sutton, right, who are so boring that I want to go and by some Nike sneakers and join Heaven's Gate. Here's an example of some painful commentary from Sunday's Reds/Braves game: "you know, too often, when we talk about catchers who are good at throwing out baserunners, we forget to talk about their footwork..." To paraphrase a favorite one-liner from Conway Bangs - open arse, insert chainsaw.

The Braves radio guys are like George Grande, if George Grande cloned himself and both he and his clone worked the same booth. That's how mindless they are.

Did I mention it was Sunday? It must have been because one of them led off the game by saying, "Now that you've have a nice time at church, you can enjoy some Atlanta Braves baseball." That's a bit presumptive, isn't it? Actually, I had a nice time at my soccer game, albeit torturous playing with 9 guys versus 11, but thank you very much, Mr. Sutton or cohort that reminds me of George Grande.

Now, simultaneously, here's some color commentary from The Cowboy Jeff Brantley and Thom Brennaman from the Reds side of the radio booth:

Cowboy and Thom Brennaman:
Q (Thom): Would you run in the Reds 5K?
A (Cowboy): No chance.
Q: Would you walk in the Reds 5K?
A: No chance. I might sit on the side and eat ribs . . . maybe give water.
Q: How many racks of ribs? One?
A: No. No. Two. Always two. One for dinner, one for midnight.

Who would you rather enjoy some baseball with?

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