GOP: "... and did we mention that he's BLACK"???

I've often joked about the self-contradictory nature of the attacks against Barack Obama, which I like to put as follows:

He's a secret, "Manchurian Candidate" - style jihadist Muslim, whose cover is that he attends a radical, black-separatist Christian church led by Jeremiah Wright, except for when he is trying to cover the fact that he is really a radical, black-separatist Christian who attends a church led by Jeremiah Wright by being a secret, "Manchurian Candidate" - style jihadist Muslim.

Well, in a development that's not at all unusual, someone has put it better than me and synthesized the succinct and, -er, coherent playbook on attacking Barack Obama:

Is he a Muslim, a Christian with a crazy pastor or a Communist atheist with a hippie mom?
Is he ruthless and overly ambitious or naive and weak?
Is an outsider who is "foreign" to our values or the country club goer?
Is he too South Side, too "black" or too Hyde Park and elitist ? Does he resent white people or is he part of the elite that sneers at blue-collars?
Does he not care about "little people" or is a socialist who will redistribute hard-earned money to everyone?

The thing that is so dead-on accurate is that if you've seen the viral Obama smear emails (I get them thrice daily from my dad), all of the themes are represented here. And there is zero internal logic to them. Which leads me to believe what the Obama-smearers are really saying is ....
He's Black! He's BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!

I can only imagine what's next: a "you-won't-believe-what-Andy-Rooney-said-on-60-Minutes" style email, featuring the made-up words of ........ (drumroll)......

Don Imus.

I'm calling it. You heard it here first!