Thursday, June 26, 2008

An Inconvenient Truth .... About David Lee Roth, Vol. 3

What will DLR pull out of there this time?

In the latest installment of this series, we will explore the pre-cognative abilities of David Lee Roth. Unbeknownst to most, David Lee Roth was one of the most forward-thinking, and predictive, heavy metal lyricists of all time.

For example, observe how in 1979, DLR aptly predicted the health care crisis that has been a focal point of the 2008 election:
You better call me a doctor.
Feelin' no pain.
Overloaded, down the drain.
Somebody get me a doctor.
You better call up the ambulance, I'm deep in shock.
Overloaded, baby, I can hardly walk.
Somebody get me a doctor.
Somebody get me a doctor.
Feelin' over fine.
And I'm speedin' down that line.
Somebody get me a shot.
"Somebody Get Me A Doctor" From Van Halen II

How many of those without health insurance have uttered - more or less - those exact same words?

Just as impressive is David Lee Roth's own revealing prediction of his future incontinence, cleverly disguised in the song "Loss of Control":
Baby, I checked it out. I think you ought to know.
I'm only wastin' time. I think I'd better go.
You way too civilized. Oh,
loss of control, loss of control, loss of control!
From Women and Children First

Unfortunately, sometimes the Van Halen brothers, as they were apt to do, tried to upstage Diamond Dave. This prediction they made, of course, didn't quite bear out in real life:

And this teaches us an important lesson: leave predictions of the future to the experts, like David Lee Roth.

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