Tuesday, July 29, 2008

"Hey, That Dead Chick Is Pretty Hot!!"

Nope, not this time.

Despite what the title of this post may suggest, it is not about the Plastered Trollop, and the typical reaction from those seeing her from more than 200 feet away.

Sadly, this is about a true story coming out of sleepy Cincinnati, Ohio that not even the producers and writers of Law & Order SVU are sick and depraved enough to think up.

No shit: In 1982 a woman was stabbed to death in her suburban Cincinnati home. A man was convicted of her murder and rape. He denied the rape, and DNA evidence eventually showed that, in fact, he did not commit the rape. That same DNA evidence now suggests a DNA match..... with an man who was an employee of the Hamilton County, Ohio (that's Cincinnati) morgue.

For those who need the dots connected, I quote the Cincinnati Enquirer story:

Douglas is accused of having sex with the woman’s uncleaned body after it had been stored in more refrigeration for four hours awaiting an autopsy the next day.


Yes, allegedly, the dude f*cked a dead body! That's not a punchline to a gross-out joke, that's actually the allegation. The thought is so disgusting, so out-of-bounds, that I actually had to censor the word, "fucked" just then. Did you notice that? Yeah, it's that bad.

For once, this overused cliche:

“In a case like this, you are tempted to refer to (Douglas) as an animal but that really isn’t fair to animals. They don’t do things like this. He is one sick dude,” Assistant Prosecutor Mark [Piepmeier] said after the brief arraignment.


.... is actually warranted.

To paraphrase a lyric from The Smiths' song, "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now," what this guy did, Caligula would have blushed...

1 comment:

Nani J. Cootsack said...

I heard rob zombie as already creating a film based on the story, and he's gonna call it The Sick Sense. Tagline: "I do more than just see dead people."