Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Rumored Reds Deal with Husband of Ex-Playmate

There is a pretty hot rumor tanning itself somewhere on a tropical beach in a scrumptious thong bikini that the husband of an ex-Playboy Playmate is near a deal with the Cincinnati Reds.

If the rumor, alluded to by Reds beat writers John Fay and Hal "The Real" McCoy, comes to fruition and the Reds sign Alica Rickter's hubby, it will be clear that the Reds are truly pulling out all the stops to bring winning baseball, or at least sexy baseball that's capable of batting .270 for less than half a season, back to Cincinnati.

Some might think that the husband of ex-Playmate Alicia Rickter is past even the twilight of his baseball career; but just a glimpse of Rickter will convince doubters that he's at least doing something right.

More will question Rickter's better half's ability to fit in in conservative Cincinnati after questions about the catcher's sexual orientation were raised years ago in New York and later in a less-than-popular Belle and Sebastian song. Again, one look at Rickter should right that school of thought.

Others cite the fact that Bob Castellini is not doing enough to fill stadium seats with the acquisition of a past-prime, sub-par catching husband of a supermodel. Those naysayers are forgetting that corn-dog devouring baseball fans will fill at least two adjacent sections of seats just to get a look at someone other than their frumpy, chili-gobbling wives. An ex-Playmate is a sure bet to bring in scores of Hudy Delight-swilling horn-dogs to Great American.

So Reds ownership and management have to weigh the pros and cons of the Rickter husband signing. The question they have to ask themselves is, "Does Rickter have what it takes to bring out enough sexually frustrated Reds fans to the stadium to drive revenue to the point of signing a real baseball player?" If the answer is "yes," then let's bring Rickter, with her husband in-tow, aboard the Little-to-Medium-Sized Red Machine.

Please answer the poll to help Castellini make the right call which could result in the best tail in Cincinnati since the Johnny Bench era.

Nani J. Cootsack reporting for Tricky Trail Sports

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