Monday, April 21, 2008

Who's Your Boss?

Listening to the Dodgers blow out the Reds tonight wasn't a total loss. While listening to Marty Brennaman laugh at Jeff "The Cowboy" Brantley discuss fried chicken, and how he'd drink gravy, for like the third or fourth game in a row, I was simultaneously reading the Reds blog of C. Trent Rosecrans. There, the former Cincinnati Post Reds beat writer, and current fan of anything Greg Dulli, made a strange allusion to Brad Penny, knee socks, and Alyssa Milano.

Merely seeing the printed name of the former Who's the Boss starlet caused unconscious Googling.

I always knew I liked Alyssa Milano... not sure why... actually that's not true, I've always known why I liked Alyssa Milano, but tonight I found reason to like her more.

Among the Google results, I found Alyssa Milano's baseball blog. It seems Milano is a big baseball fan, and even writes a blog dedicated to the Dodgers.

But are you a Dodgers fan, or do you just like the hat, Milano?

At, I found you modeling apparel bearing the logo of the oldest franchise in professional baseball and a once-bitter rival of the Dodgers from the old NL West days. While I was mildly disappointed in failing to find you modeling a Reds bikini, the look in your eye and your wind-blown mane tells Reds fans everywhere that you just can't get enough of Bronson Arroyo's serenades the pre-cooked beef he's selling.

So, Milano, listen up and listen good. I know you read The Tricky Trail Times every morning from your trailer on the set of "Charmed."

Okay, so maybe that show was yanked from the WB like 6 years ago; still, I have a bone to pick with you, Milano. Your Dodgers may have squeaked (and by squeaked I mean utterly annihilated) by my Redlegs tonight, but I'm willing to bet you that the Reds will take the series.

If the Reds win, you have to go on a date with my brother, Freddy Park. If they lose I'll set you up with the best of my Hollywood connections. You've seen the movie, Super Troopers, right? No, not Starship Troopers.

Heck, if I win, I may just set you up with both.

I'm a generous guy.

Please write me at if interested in this bet.

Seriously, I watched "My Date with Drew," and I have more than a camcorder and $100; I've got a blog.


Update 1: Milano, I win! Pay up!

You might say, "But, Nani, they split the series!"

Milano, Reds win on aggregate, 11-10 (3-9 loss plus 8-1 win). Don't you watch Champions League? Email me for my brother's number.

Nani J. Cootsack reporting for Tricky Trail Sports

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