Friday, December 12, 2008

Letter to Mike Brown

Mike Brown
Undeserved Corner Office
Hamilton County Professional Football Stadium

Dear Mr. Brown,

I am writing to inform you that I will not be renewing my season tickets next year. Before I get into my reasons for non-renewal, I would first like to congratulate you. You cleverly ‘fooled’ me into purchasing tickets a few years back by miraculously pulling off a playoff appearance. The following year, much to my current chagrin, I purchased season tickets. I am far from a fair-weather fan; however, after the team’s poor performance this year I began to question if I wanted to continue to financially support the team. Then, your asinine interview in the Enquirer finally put me over the edge and I have decided to forgo renewing my tickets.

In the interview you mentioned “themes” the fans come up with to place blame. I have discussed your interview with my season ticket-holding friends, and we believe there is a “theme” that YOU prescribe to running a professional football organization: Draft Superman (who is the only one who could survive the pummeling) to play quarterback; count on players that haven’t played in 2+ years to lead your defense; evade the ever-present injury bug; and, finally, have trust and faith in your coaches that “have coached the same way” over the past years, but undercut your head coach’s decision on a player when you can use the situation to stroke your God-like redeemer and savior ego.

Your utter disregard for the feelings of the people who put money in your pocket (Bengals fans, in case you didn’t know) is shameful. You can say all you want about how you've been doing this job for years and are happy with the team’s effort, but please, for a single day, put yourself in the shoes of the common fan that spends a 'probably-more-than-they-can-afford' portion of their income to support the Bengals.

Anyone with a learning curve can see that an obvious solution to ending the agony would be to stop cheering for the lackluster team and find another one; but I was born and raised here and my heart will not allow my allegiance to the Bengals to change. I will continue to support the Bengals PLAYERS and Mike Zimmer (who is the only current coach who has yet to prove himself to be a complete failure), but I will not support anyone in the front office for the rest of my life as long as changes are not made.

Now that I have this new-found money, which was previously being spent on the Bengals, I have to decide where to spend it. Cincinnati Bearcats football looks like a good option at the moment, but so did Cincinnati Bengals football a few years back. If they are of the same school of thought as you, they are bound to be terrible in a few years. University of Kentucky football is another option; while it is an hour away, it is less expensive and I know what I am paying for…year after year of mediocre football, which is much easier to swallow than the one time up and most of the time down of the Bengals.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to cheering for the Bengals PLAYERS year after year.

If you ever do decide to hire a general manager I will be the first to hand you my application and resume, even knowing that without the last name Brown or Blackburn I'll have no legitimate shot at the position.

Feel free to have your secretary send me a form letter that states “thank you for your concerns and we are sorry to hear you will not be renewing your season tickets…”

Who dey?

Freddy Fourth Street

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