The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 6

Troopergate.

To me, second to Palin's complete lack of qualifications, this is the most stunning part of her selection - that she is currently embroiled in an abuse of power type of scandal. There are a number of reasons whyit surprises me that this did not take her out of the consideration. Here are the two most obvious:

1. Her "holier than thou" attitude toward government corruption. Part of her biography includes how Palin exposed graft and corruption in Alaska state government. Republicans love this of course, but their shouts turn to mumbles when it comes time to mention that it was corrupt Republican politicians that she turned on. But more to the point, if you are making your case based on your status as a "reformer" who has taken down corrupt politicians, it's more than a little hypocritical to be doing so as you're investigated for using the power of your office to enforce a personal vendetta against a family enemy.

2. The "Stop Me if You've Heard This One Before" factor. The Valarie Plame incident is in the nation's rearview mirror, but it isn't out of sight. Special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald said that there was a "cloud over the vice president" because Cheney's chief of staff, Scooter Libby had obstructed justice. Only hard core right-wingers think that this kind of retaliation against one's political enemies is okay (of course, they'd be calling for impeachment had the shoe been on the other foot). For the rest of the nation, Palin's behavior in troopergate - and in particular her denials until evidence came to light that forced her to change her story - is going to be eerily reminiscent of the current occupants of the country's two highest offices. With Dubya's approval rating still in the low 30's (last I checked), why would you tap someone with Bush/Cheney-like tendencies to be your VP pick?

Anyway...

Thank god for Talking Points Memo. Here is a good summary of Troopergate. This saved me a lot of research and typing. This and this too. Check it out.

And furthermore, this appears that it is a pattern of behavior.

I hope this is true

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/8/30/121350/137
Check out this story. I really hope this is true.

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 5

I hate it when I fall asleep at 10:00 pm and wake up at 1:00 am, and find myself completely awake when I try to go to bed. At least once, I found that writing a blog helped. And it was gentler than, say, downing a cocktail of whiskey and sleeping pills.

But rather than post images of turds here on the Triple-T, as I did last time I blogged while unable to sleep, I'll return to topic du jour, Sarah Palin. My apologies for being so fixated on this; but there is a lot of groud to cover here. Plus, it's great theater if nothing else, and in the end, I just can't get over the sheer absurdity of it all.

If nothing else, this whole charade is bringing out the best in Andrew Sullivan, whose blog I have been reading for most of this year (and I highly recommend). To wit:

For Charles [Krauthammer, who called the pick, "near suicidal"], it must be a little insulting to have worked many years thinking about foreign policy in high office, and to be facing a potentially catastrophic period of war in the Middle East and find that a woman whose expertise is in fishing, snowboarding and oil-drilling has been deemed worthy of leading the free world at the drop of a hat. But that's how seriously McCain takes national security.

This was about marketing not governing; hiring for appearance not competence. And they did it - without apparent irony - on the anniversary of Katrina as another hurricane threatens. [Far] from being a reversal of the Bush administration's worst instincts, McCain seems itent on recreating it - as farce. Heckuva Job, Sarah.

Sullivan, an ideological conservative, has been a vocal critic of today's Republicans. This on the Palin pick and the response of the right:

Gingrich is talking about the triumph of authenticity. Yes: conservatives for the importance of authenticity over basic competence. Well: they sure aren't elitists.

The important thing for today's Republicans is that the leaders evoke the kind of cultural identity of evangelical Christians, regardless of their competence or knowledge or even interest in, you know, governing. You pick a candidate because of her gender and religion and recent baby, even if she has no record of even any opinions on foreign policy and the only opinion you can actually find opposes the critical plank of McCain's war "strategy."

War? What war? The Republicans have a base to rally. Readers know what I think of the current GOP. But this pick, and the base's response to it, suggests a political party that has nuked the fridge.

This post from Sullivan, is probably the most encouraging. Polling suggests that the Palin pick is sitting well with only conservatives (surprise!). Democrats are nonplussed, and this:

But among the critical undecideds, the Palin pick made only 6 percent more likely to vote for McCain; and it made 31 percent less likely to vote for him. 49 percent said it would have no impact, and 15 percent remained unsure. More to the point: among undecideds, 59 percent said Palin was unready to be president. Only 6 percent said she was. If the first criterion for any job is whether you're ready for it, this is a pretty major indictment of the first act of McCain's presidential leadership.

One other striking finding. If McCain thought he could present Palin as a moderate, he was wrong. A whopping 69 percent view her as conservative (37 percent as very conservative), and only 13 percent see her as moderate.

From this first snap-shot (and unsettled) impression, Palin has helped McCain among Republicans, left Democrats unfazed, but moved the undecideds against him quite sharply. I totally understand why.

John McCain's problems with the radical right are well-documented. At best, they were going to vote for him (probably in lower numbers) this year, but would be holding their nose while doing it. It seems, then, that this pick may be designed as more of an appeal to the right than it would seem at first glance. I know, by using the word "designed," I'm giving a lot of credit to the decision-making process when the lack of thorough vetting suggest little credit is due. But the point is that it is a defensive pick, rather than a play for the undecideds and independents. If John McCain is on the defensive here, that is a bad sign for him.

This data is encouraging for the "good guys" though. I had hoped that voters would be keeping their eye on the ball this year after having witnessed the consequences of not doing so in 2000 or 2004. Maybe they are.

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 4

Another honest Republican:

As they began gathering in Minneapolis-St. Paul for the start of their convention on Monday, some Republican delegates said they were concerned that Ms. Palin did not have the experience in foreign policy or national security to be commander in chief.

“We’re in a global war, we’re in a global economy, so it’s less than honest if someone says that this woman is qualified to lead America right now,” said Todd Burkhalter, a Republican delegate from Mobile, Ala..

Also, note that the article mentions the following:

Ms. Palin appears to have traveled very little outside the United States. In July 2007, she had to get a passport before she visited members of the Alaska National Guard stationed in Kuwait, according to her deputy communications director, Sharon Leighow. She also visited wounded troops in Germany during that trip.

There is some hypothesizing on the internet today that Palin is going to decline the nomination during the RNC (likely citing her devotion to Alaska, her Down's Syndrome newborn or some other completely reasonable and logical reason), allowing McCain to select who he really wants - i.e., Lieberman or Romney - with this incident giving him cover from the radical right. In effect, he can tell the radical right party base, "well, I tried!"

That kind of stunt sounds absolutely bat-shit crazy to me. But it makes worlds more sense than picking a small town mayor to be Vice President of the United States of America.

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 3

A profile of Alaska gubernatorial candidate, Sarah Palin in the Anchorage Daily News (from October 23, 2006). Quote:

Now, as the Republican nominee up against an "old guard" from both parties, Palin is once again pitching "fresh ideas." Her campaign has sometimes struggled this fall to get those ideas and positions into clear focus. But they seem almost secondary.

The main product Palin is selling this year, as in Wasilla 10 years ago, is Palin herself.

The Republicans are fond of saying that Barack Obama is nothing but empty rhetoric and pretty words - a criticism I think he amswered at the DNC. Funny how all of the grenades they've been lobbing at Obama all fit Palin like a glove.

And then there's Palin's firm position about Iraq, as stated to Alaska Business Monthly in December 2006:

Alaska Business Monthly: We've lost a lot of Alaska's military members to the war in Iraq. How do you feel about sending more troops into battle, as President Bush is suggesting?

Palin: I've been so focused on state government, I haven't really focused much on the war in Iraq. I heard on the news about the new deployments, and while I support our president, Condoleezza Rice and the administration, I want to know that we have an exit plan in place; I want assurances that we are doing all we can to keep our troops safe. Every life lost is such a tragedy. I am very, very proud of the troops we have in Alaska, those fighting overseas for our freedoms, and the families here who are making so many sacrifices.

...-er. Did John McCain know she was calling for an exit plan before naming her as his VP pick? And Republicans are excited about this?

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 2

For all twelve people on this planet that read this blog, you probably suspect that I hate Republicans, and while that's a reasonable conclusion to draw, the fact is that there is a small sliver of card-carrying right-wingers that I respect. I do not agree with them, but I think they are principled, which is more than you can say about the average Republican, who will fervently support their party when it says one thing, and turn around like leaves in a wind storm and support their party just as fervently when their party does an about-face. On Palin, suppose the tables were turned, and she was the Democratic VP selection: the right would be HOWLING with laughter at her. Every conservative talking head would be pushing attention toward the "troopergate" scandal, and there would be measures from the Republicans in Congress to sent more federal money to Alaska to fund the investigation. Republicans would openly mock her, her beauty pageant past, and the fact that the population of Alaska is less than almost a dozen and a half U.S. cities.

The reaction from the rank-and-file Republicans has been anything but. What a brilliant pick! What a leader she is! And on and on.

Despite all the cheerleading, some of the principled conservative side are taking a sober look.

This from the conservative National Review's David Frum:

Here's I fear the worst harm that may be done by this selection. The McCain campaign's slogan is "country first." It's a good slogan, and it aptly describes John McCain, one of the most self-sacrificing, gallant, and honorable men ever to seek the presidency.

But question: If it were your decision, and you were putting your country first, would you put an untested small-town mayor a heartbeat away from the presidency?

Here is a blogger (Ramesh Ponnuru) at "The Corner," one of the National Review's blogs:

Both the pros and the cons are pretty obvious. I’m going to focus on the cons, mostly because conservatives right now seem to be paying them less attention.

* * * *

The cons:

Inexperience. Palin has been governor for about two minutes. Thanks to McCain’s decision, Palin could be commander-in-chief next year. That may strike people as a reckless choice; it strikes me that way. And McCain's age raised the stakes on this issue.

* * * *

Tokenism. Can anyone say with a straight face that Palin would have gotten picked if she were a man?

* * * *

Now, as I said, there are pros too. Maybe Palin will be a terrific candidate and vice president. But let’s not underestimate the potential downside.

And here is a self-described ideological conservative writing in to Andrew Sullivan's blog states:

No remotely serious politician--no honest patriot--would think of placing this individual a heartbeat away from the Oval Office, however admirable she may be, however lively her biography.

Moreover, the elation on the right regarding Palin's nomination made clear to me that none of them has ever been remotely serious about national security, either. On the contrary, as the left has insisted for years, for them it really has all been about political advantage, noise and bluster and ugliness with no core of principle, no genuine strategic commitment.

The very same people who, only yesterday, insisted that Obama's resume was too dangerously thin to entrust him with the oversight of our national security, today are celebrating Palin's accession as a triumph for conservatism (evidently this is because she is hostile to both abortion and polar bears). Their hypocrisy is staggering--they truly do believe in nothing but their own entitlement to power by any means.

And I'm very much afraid I must conclude this is as true of McCain as it is of his ghastly cheerleaders, the Limbaughs and the Hannitys. Nothing else could explain the elevation of a woman so singularly unqualified in every aspect save gender.

The most pertinent question - given that this is an obvious, cynical play for women's votes is the one of tokenism. No man with her resume would have gotten selected. Fact. There are some women in the Republican party who are more qualified who ought to be incensed over this. People have argued that the Hillary Clinton crowd feels slighted because Obama's winning the primary felt like a story they are all too familiar with: a qualified and capable woman being "passed over" by a man. Well, what are they are supposed to think about Palin - this is a passing over by a younger, prettier woman. That isn't going to sit well.

Women aren't stupid. They'll see through this. And some of them will say (and I've seen some anecdotal evidence of this on the web), that the fact that she had a Down's Syndrome baby 4 months ago and has accepted the invitation to be VP - which as a candidate or as the winner of the election is basically a 16-20 hour a day job - is irresponsible and deplorable (in fact, this was the Hot Rodette's first reaction to the news).

This could backfire on McCain. Big time.

The Sarah Palin Files, Pt. 1

God, I have so much work to do. So I'm going to first warm up by picking some of the low-hanging fruit.

Let's debunk the myth that Sarah Palin has always opposed the infamous "bridge to nowhere." This is the lie (really, let's call it what it is) she told as she was introduced as John McCain's VP.

Let's look at what John McCain hates - the facts.

On October 22, 2006, in response to a question about whether she supported said bridge Gubernatorial candidate Palin told the Anchorage Daily News,

Yes. I would like to see Alaska's infrastructure projects built sooner rather than later. The window is now--while our congressional delegation is in a strong position to assist.

As The New Republic Reports,

By that point, the project was endangered for reasons that had nothing to do with Palin—the bridge had become a national laughingstock, Congress had stripped away the offending earmark, shifting the money back to the state's general fund, and future federal support seemed unlikely. True, after Palin was sworn into office that fall, her first budget didn't allocate any money for the bridge. But when the Daily News asked on December 16, 2006, if she now opposed the project, Palin demurred and said she was just trying to figure out where the bridge fit on the state's list of transportation priorities, given the lack of support from Congress.

Emphasis mine. So, the facts show that twice before taking office, Palin was given the opportunity to announce her opposition to the Bridge to Nowhere. The results?

1. Yes, I'm absolutely for it.
2. Still for it - just trying to figure out how to fund it.

Unless I have suddenly lost my ability to comprehend English, I'd say that neither time constitutes "opposition."

The New Republic piece linked to above puts Palin's next statement on the bridge project at September 19, 2007, when she took the first step in what could be described as being against the bridge - directing state funds away from it and to other projects. Great, but here was her statement at the time:

"Ketchikan desires a better way to reach the airport, but the $398 million bridge is not the answer,” said Governor Palin. “Despite the work of our congressional delegation, we are about $329 million short of full funding for the bridge project, and it’s clear that Congress has little interest in spending any more money on a bridge between Ketchikan and Gravina Island,” Governor Palin added. “Much of the public’s attitude toward Alaska bridges is based on inaccurate portrayals of the projects here. But we need to focus on what we can do, rather than fight over what has happened.”

Palin, in her speech, stated, "I told Congress, 'Thanks, but no thanks' on the bridge to nowhere."

Huh? I'm sorry, but I don't see any way to reconcile her account yesterday of her position, with her statement in September. Quite to the contrary, those pesky facts show that there was nothing from Congress for Palin to say "no thanks" to.

I will again quote The New Republic article, mainly because I can't put it any better:

Maybe I've missed something, but it sure looks like she was fine with the bridge in principle, never had a problem with the earmarks, bristled at all the mockery, and only gave up on the project when it was clear that federal support wasn't forthcoming.

Here are my two main thoughts, for whatever they're worth.

1. As a liar, she's a perfect match for John McCain. As has been widely reported, John McCain had only met Palin once and spoken with her on the phone on another occasion before picking her as his VP. He must have seen how reality-challenged she was and recognized a kindred spirit.

2. One can only assume she knew her prior statements. Why on earth would she come out and say that she has been opposed to the Bridge to Nowhere? This, to me, shows that Palin is just not ready for prime time. Maybe you can say something blatantly false and get away with it in a town of less than 8500 people, but this is the proverbial "big leagues." Does she not realize this?

I'll end on a comedic video created by The Jed Report (you decide what John McCain was looking at over and over):

The Only Thing More Unbelievable Than Sarah Palin

Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco.

3-13 this year. Maybe 4-12.

Who Dey!

Sarah Palin

Oh my fucking GOD....

Oh my FUCKING God ......

OH my fucking God ....

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!

Sarah Palin. I have yet to pick my jaw up off of the ground.

That's it. I am officially going to have to take a leave of absence from work to blog about this full-time. Expect posts on these and other fun topics:

McCain has met her once; spoken with her twice. EVER.

She is currently ensnared in an abuse-of-power scandal called "troopergate."

In 2006, she went on the record in support of now-indicted Senator Ted Stevens' (R- AK) infamous bridge to nowhere, stating (and I'm paraphrasing here), "the time to do this is now while our congressional delegation has the power to fund these projects" [translation: "while we can get the federal earmarks John McCain and I will claim to be against in two years when he names me as his VP candidate ... stop laughing, I'm serious, he's going to ask."]

Seriously less experience than even Barack Obama, who righties everywhere say has a paper-thin resume.

She criticized Hillary Clinton's "whining" during the primary (that's going to appeal to the disaffected Hillary supporters, as will her militant pro-life stance).

She believes in creationism.

She believes global warming is not caused by human activity.

She has less experience than Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine. Relevance? Karl Rove recently said Kaine's experience was lacking, and that if Obama picked someone so inexperienced, it would be purely for political reasons, and not a wise choice foe governance purposes.

She endorsed Obama's energy plan.

She does not know, at least as of earlier today, what McCain's Iraq plan is. She has stated she focuses on state issues, not national or international issues.

God, I could go on. It's so easy.

One of my favorite bloggers on the web, Andrew Sullivan, is apoplectic:

John McCain first met Palin in February of this year and had a telephone conversation with her. That is the full extent of his familiarity with Palin until he spent time with her last week. That's how seriously he is taking the presidency of the United States. It's simply unbelievable recklessness. It's Bush-level recklessness.

Putting country first? This is a reckless act of egotism and politics. The more you think about it, and the more you consider how many charges he has leveled against Obama's alleged inexperience in a time of peril, the more outrageous it is that she he picks an unknown local politician he has only met once before to be a heartbeat away from the presidency.

Palin isn't the issue here. McCain's judgment is. It's completely off the wall. Is there something wrong with him?

The honeymoon is going to be short. The downfall is goingto be swift, and it is going to be ugly. I had better get to work.

Sarah Palin? John McCain, WTF?

All I can say is thank you, John McCain. By not vetting your VP candidate and banking on her looks and gender to render votes, you might as well have appointed a former equestrian executive to the head of FEMA. This is your first president-like, real decision, and I think you're "doin' a helluva job," McCainie. Read about Sarah Palin's dirt from an Alaskan who's ostensibly Republican.

!!!TTT ALERT!!! Terror Level is CODE RED! Repeat, CODE RED!

Tricky Trailers, be on high alert! The TTT secret surveillance security system picked up this horrific image at the rear entrance to our lair.

It appears that two, heavily-armed, covert operatives with extremely sinister intentions have breached our secure perimeter.

As of this moment, Conway Bangs has been relieved of his duties as High Minister of Trailhead Security due to his unilateral insistence that we fortify our stronghold with corn husks. In his place, serving as interim minister, Nani has appointed Shamus O'Toole, the relatively unknown governor of Alaska and former Miss Wasilla 1984.

What's that, Shamus? This isn't you? Oh, it's someone named Sarah Palin, and she's been named running mate of John McCain? What's that you say? Sarah Palin is famous for not being a 1,000-year old white guy and a Republican at the same time? You don't say! What's that? Sarah Palin once lied to her husband about a shopping trip to Costco and instead, admittedly smelling of salmon, drove to an Anchorage JC Penney's to get an autograph from Ivana Trump? (Anchorage Daily News, April 3, 1996 - yes, Nani did his own research)

Thanks for the insight, Shamus. Glad you're aboard.

As for you, Sarah Palin, put on some clothes!

Unless, of course, Senator McCain plans on volunteering you, too, for the Sturgis Miss Buffalo Chip contest like he did for wife Cindy.

A Noun, A Verb and POW Watch

It works for anything. Anything.

Wanna Funk?

I'm going to be a dad soon. It's my first go.........yes, one finally hit the target!
Pregnancy is strange for the father to be. First of all there is relief. All that "research" I did during my youth didn't render me infertile after all (and i still have 20/20 vision too).
Then I became extremely paranoid. For the first 12 weeks the watch word is "miscarriage". I quickly realised the doctors have no idea what causes this. Oh they have a long list of do nots, which, if adhered to, stops her from doing and eating just about any thing..... "don't eat certain fish, cheese, ham, steak, etc, etc...........don't run, walk, sleep, sit, stand, bend, crouch..........."
After paranoia comes guilt. She gets big while I loose weight through worry. The normal female insecurity questions become more frequent.
"Am I getting bigger?" she enquires.
How do I answer that? The usual default answer should always be no.....every male knows that! But, come on, you're pregnant.....of course you're bloody massive!
I took the easy way out.
"You always look gorgeous" that way I can skip the size question. It's not a lie, she always does, but still the guilt piles on as you start to wonder weather the weight gain is permanent.

We are close to the D-Day. Not long to go now. We have started discussing names. I've started worrying about names. A name can make or break a person. It defines us as a human, and I've discovered this is the hardest part.
You want the name to be cool and memorable. But not memorable in the - David Bowie named his kid Zowie, kind of a way - more the Elvis, Barack (manage to work in something political) Madonna.
During my research I came across this list of apparently the strangest baby names:

Here, in ascending order of weirdness, are the 20 strangest:
20: Wanna Funk
19: United States
18: Lotta Bacon
17: Hysteria Johnson
16: Waitress Seholley
15: Nail Rambo
14: Jump Jump
13: Tackle Feigenbutz
12: Mustard M.Mustard
11: Jelly Bean Cook
10: Fat Meat Fields
9: Geography Bryan
8: Zero Pie
7: Cylinder Klinefelter
6: Nice Veal
5: Cylclops Walthour
4: Envy Burger
3: Cancer Grindstaff
2: Young Boozer
1: Dracula Taylor

Some body actually named there kid Wanna Funk? Why? Actually, that is kinda cool.
Maybe I should stop worrying and name my kid something that is in the popular lexicon at this moment in time...... How about P.O.W? Guantanamo? Disenfranchised? Oil?

Political Miscellany

1. In a previous post about Cindy McCain (a/k/a the Plastered Trollop), I posed the following question about her consistant characterization of herself as an only child:

the question remains: why would Cindy McCain continue to lie and deny the existence of her half-sister?

I mean, really - to what end?

That sister, it appears, is an Obama supporter.

Mystery solved.

2. Obamanomics: this article is long and therefore a time-killer, but very, very interesting.

3. Find out how much of a tax cut you will get under Obama's plan, here.

4. Hey John McCain: this isn't a celebrity endorsement you can believe in!! What? Paris and Britneeeey not returning your calls anymore, Johnny?

As the young people say: "LOL."

As the young people further say: "OMG!"

After all, Daddy Yankee (whoever the fuck he is) first sought to endorse Barack Obama. Due to his assault charge and racy lyrics, Obama turned him down. So he runs into the open arms of John McCain, who never met a political gimmick he didn't love.

Why was I speaking in text messages a paragraph ago? Because it's all so, what's the word ...... the word that characterizes John McShameless's whole campaign?

Juvenile.

It's like being in high school again. It's like going out with your sworn enemy's ex-girlfriend to whom you otherwise wouldn't give the time of day, just to piss him off.

Frankly, I'd like to say, "Daddy Yankee, you got played," but damn it, I know it's the other way around. This schmuck just got put on the map.

Staying With The Theme.....

... of baseball and cable news missing the best parts of the DNC...

Here's another thing that the MSM (other than Peggy Noonan) overlooked:

By the way, the best line of the convention so far? Ted Strickland of Ohio, when he echoed the 1988 Democratic convention joke about George H.W. Bush, that he was born on third and thought he hit a triple. Strickland said of George W. Bush that he was born on third and then stole second.

Where Was This John Kerry in 2004?

Watching the DNC last night (on cable news channels, of course), I had the impression that Bill Clinton absolutely hit it out of the park. No, make that, he hit a grand slam and he and all the runners on base were allowed to run around the diamond twice for a total of 8 RBI's on one swing of the bat. It was a stellar speech. Between Bill's speech last night and Hillary's speech the night before, the die-hard Hillary supporters and PUMA's (Party Unity, My Ass) have got to feel like the time of dissent is at an end. One can only hope anyway. But for Obamaniacs like myself, who came to hate the Clintons during the primary season, let me just say this:

Hatchet = buried.

The emotional swing from Clinton's speech to Biden's was remarkable. I went from wanting to physically assault some Republicans after hearing from Bill to being more than a little misty-eyed at the begining of Biden's speech, and no more so than when Biden's son Beau introduced him. It was emotional. It was powerful. All of the pundits said it wasn't the best Biden speech by Biden's standards. A little too scripted, and so forth. But to the average voter who follows politics like most people follow olympic sports like swimming and track and field (i.e., only relevant once in four years), Biden's speech is going to connect. It sure made Obama's selection of Biden as VP look smart. Very smart.

But what about this Kerry clip? Holy shit! If I'm not mistaken, Kerry wound up, rared back, and cracked the Bush/Cheney legacy and John McSame right on the bridge of the nose. The irony is that all the cable news channels cut away from Kerry's speech (apparently so, at least MSNBC did), so they could talk about how no one is attacking John McSwine enough. Memo to CNN and the networks (we'll skip Fox News since they don't give two shits about objectivity): there is a difference - a big difference - between the DNC speakers actually not going after John McCain, and you creating the false impression that they are not doing it. You pig fuckers. I'm watching C-SPAN from here on out.

And oh yeah, just to point out that I too noticed the obvious point: if we had this John Kerry in 2004, this nominating convention would be all about Kerry's re-election campaign.

Speaking of Vietnamese Prisons....

The erstwhile popstar and convicted sex offender, Gary Glitter, shares something in common with John McPOW.

That's right, they've both done time in Vietnam.

And yet, for reasons unknown, no one's suggesting a write-in campaign to elect this guy to public office (as a Republican of course).

Hey McCain, You Down With OCD? "Yeah, You Know Me!"

McCain, on Jay Leno, played the POW card. Again.

My God, he really can't help himself. It's like a manifestation of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

This guy I saw at at Reagan National who flew two rows behind me to O'Hare

Nani found himself at Reagan National airport the other day reminiscing about the last time he was there and saw James Carville. Nani thought that was pretty cool - Carville was wearing some blue jeans, some Pro-Wings tennis shoes, and a non-descript t-shirt.

Well this time around it may have been the antithesis of Carville at Reagan National. Contrasting the skinny, skull-face was a 6'1'' mega-hulk with biceps the size Carville's bald cranium, and a mini-mullet straight outta Covington, Kentucky, circa 1989. His sweet main looked a lot less like the kid to the right (just wanted to fit that boy in somehow), and a lot more like Bash Brother Jose Canseco [Hey Jose, how did that 1990 World Series turn out? Not as good as your sweet locks].

Anyway, back to Reagan National. So this guy who looked like the son of Jose Canseco and Janet Reno was wearing a John McCain t-shirt. Over the t-shirt was a fishing vest, I was hoping sans-gutting knife. The McCain t-shirt was tucked neatly into bright yellow SpongeBob SquarePants, umm, pants, which themselves were tucked nicely into some black hiking boots.

Okay, that's a weird look right? But nothing to write home about, or this blog about.

The cherry on top was that this guy was toting some carry-on luggage. But hey, so was I as well as everyone else on the flight; what's the big deal?

His baggage, probably more metaphorical than the baggage I could see, was a plastic tackle box - you might remember the first one you had as a kid - a little smaller than a shoe box. Okay, a little weird, I know. It gets better. The tackle box was fastened with clear masking tape to a Compton's World Atlas; that's right, an encyclopedic geographical volume.

My friend looked like he was either crazy or an Obama supporter touring the nation in a ridiculous outfit to make McCain look bad. The "I Suck at Photoshop" effort on the right should give you an idea of what he looked like.

Anyway, he boarded the plane ahead of me and sat about two rows behind me. I had visions of box cutters inside that tackle box. I had subsequent visions of Nani scissor kicking dude in the neck all the way from the window seat. Alas, Nani is not a soothsayer.

I fell asleep and never heard a peep out of the guy, but I couldn't help but feel I'd done my civic duty in remaining post-9/11 vigilant. "Take your family to Disney World, but remain vigilant," they said. Well, Chicago is Disney Land to some (those suckers from Gary) and Nani was on guard.

So, maybe this isn't the best blog post ever and maybe me being bitten on Saturday night by a dog was the karma preemptively striking me, but I had to get this off Nani's chest.

Actually the dog bite might explain the lack of coherence in this post.

The Quotable Ocho Cinco

From Bengals.com today:

The question of the next 13 days is if their top skill players have enough time to get ready after not being on the field together since the Dec. 30 win at Miami in last year's regular-season finale.

"How many months is that?" Chad Johnson asked, and when told eight, he said, "That's no different than when Brad Pitt and Angelina are filming a movie and it takes that (amount of) time when they get back together to have kids.It will be the same when we get back on the field together. We're going to produce."

Don't want a visual of that. At all.

John McSame

Now I get it.

I used to think John McSame meant John McCain has the same policies as George W. Bush.

But what I think it really means is, regardless of the question, the answer is the SAME: "prisoner of war."

Watch the "artful dodger" totally side-step the question of why he was more qualified than Mitt Romney to manage the economy.

Hat Tip to the Jed Report, which sums up McCain's answer to a question about the economy as follows:

* Say nothing about the economy
* Say he was more patriotic than Mitt Romney
* Cite his experience as a POW
* Argue that "radical Islamic extremism" is a more important issue
* Criticize a timetable for withdrawal from Iraq
* Did I mention, say nothing about the economy?

A Noun, A Verb, and "Prisoner of War"

People are finally starting to get it. Every criticism of John McCain - each and every single criticism - is met with manufactured outrage from the McSlime Campaign: How could you? How dare you?? For God's sake, the man was a POW for five-and-a-half years!!!
For example:

Criticism: John McCain tries to relate to everyday Americans, but can't remember how many homes he and his uber-wealthy wife own.

McCain Response: Outrageous! For five-and-a-half years, John McCain lived in one home -a Vietnamese prison.

Criticism: At the Saddleback forum, John McCain was not in the so-called "cone of silence" to prevent an unfair advantage by learning the questions ahead of time (all factually accurate, by the way).

McCain Response: (And this is the quote from the campaign) "The insinuation from the Obama campaign that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, cheated is outrageous!"

Criticism: John McCain's position on health care is out of touch and ill-informed since he has enjoyed government-provided health care for virtually his whole life.

McCain Response: (direct quote from John McCain himself): "I did have a period of time where I didn’t have very good healthcare, I had it from another government"

Criticism: (As made by the Hot Rod here on the Triple-T) John McFraud feebly tries to identify with "the people" (even though his life bears no resemblance to the average joe) by offering up the Plastered Trollop for the Ms. Buffalo Chip topless beauty pageant at the Sturgis, SD motorcycle rally.

McCain Response: Outrageous! Americans "know that John McCain's faith and character were tested and forged in ways few can fathom."

Criticism: John McCain's taste in music stinks.

McCain Response: Outrageous! The man was a POW. How can a man who has been put through so much be expected to appreciate music or art?? For shame liberal media! For shame!!

Criticism: John McCain, as pictured above, overplays his patriotism by having American flags mounted on his penis.

McCain Response: Outrageous! (stomping feet and jumping up and down like a two-year-old throwing a temper tantrum) "POW, POW, POW, POW!!!!!! Five-and-a-half years!!! Beaten like a rented mule!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHHH!!!!! (whereupon, the head of McCain spokesperson explodes).

OK, I made that last one up, but surprisingly enough, the rest are true. In a way, the sheer audacity of it all is really something to behold. No matter how irrelevant John McCain's POW experience is to the issue at hand, he and his campaign keep trotting that fact out there, as if Americans are too "stoopid" to ever say "McCain's sacrifice was honorable, but it's no excuse for this." I mean, voters are stupid and all (this country elected Dubya Bush twice), but that stupid?

And plus, what's the deal? Can't McCain face simple questions straight up like a man, or you know, like a real candidate for President of the United States of America? When is McCain going to address a question without hiding behind his biography?

The national media is (finally) starting to question whether McCain is overplaying the POW card. Um. You think???!! Being a day late and a dollar short is pretty much the modus operandi of the mainstream media, but hey, better late than never.

With the ever-quotable Joe Biden now officially Obama's running mate, I'm just waiting to hear Biden repackage his criticism of Rudy Giuliani's overuse of a certain event...



Maybe then the MSM will call McCain out. Maybe

Hitler discusses the Reds

Got E.D.?

The Cincinnati Reds should soon be riding high again now that they have brought Eric Davis back into the fold. The former Gold Glover and All Star will work with developing young talent in the Reds organization. It is unclear that since the entire team is now young guys if that means he will soon be manager. It is also unclear if his salary will be a million dollars or not. Marge Schott could not be reached for comment.

John McCain, Liar

Pretty soon, the John McCain, Liar blog series is going to be a full blown movement.

And with good reason. I really didn't think he would stoop this low.

Lying about your dealings with Mother Teresa??? Don't you burn in hell for that?

Quote from the linked article:

This is the pattern:

A story that shows the McCains' genuine compassion and faith is embellished over the years to make the story a little more perfect, a little more salient, a little better as a narrative. It's especially important to add these embellishments when your goal is to appeal to a fundamentalist base, when your own prickly, personal and private faith isn't very marketable. And when your adopted daughter is Bangladeshi, and when that fact has been disgracefully used against you by the Bush machine in 2000, and when some fringes of your base get queasy about multi-racial families, what better way to describe the adoption than as something Mother Teresa herself "implored" you to do?

UPDATE: apparently, McCain's Mother Teresa canard is of relatively recent vintage ... and easily discoverable. But hey, we shouldn't question a POW. Beaten for five-and-a-half years after all.....

Someone Had To Blog About This ...

Cakewrecks, a blog devoted to horribly bad cake design.

Here are some of my favorites:

Something to celebrate there .... Seeing as it's "her day" and all ... hey, why not? Er,.... ok.

And finally,

Funny, I baked a cake just like this when I was a kid....

The Plastered Trollop, Liar

Interesting story coming out about how the Plastered Trollop, Cindy McCain, characterizes herself as an "only child." Well, as with so many things in John McLiar's world, that's not exactly true. She may well have been the only heir to her father's beer distributorship fortune, but she wasn't her father's only daughter.

Seems to be a recurring pattern in the Plastered Trollop's life: her father left behind his first family to take up with and later marry a second woman (the Plastered Trollop's mother). Sounds exactly how she met John McSlime while he was still married, had an affiar with him, and got married to him about a month after his divorce was final. [side note: John McCain, what a good, wholesome, Christian man!]

And while this sad, pathetic story of the late Jim Hensley's treatment of his first daughter definitely says more about his character than that of the Plastered Trollop or her 5'6" husband (other than the obvious "birds-of-a-feather" / judging a man's character "by the company he keeps," or in this case, the company he marries, association), the question remains: why would Cindy McCain continue to lie and deny the existence of her half-sister?

I mean, really - to what end?

Apparently, truth is a fairly flexible concept to the McCains. What a pair of despicable human beings (I'm being charitable here).

Nani Couldn't Say It Better Himself...

In an editorial today at CNN.com, Jack Cafferty sums up a lot of my thoughts for me. Thanks, Jack! Below are the basic/non-policy reasons influencing my vote. I've cropped some parts for the sake of brevity [photos and captions added by Nani]:

Russia invades Georgia and President Bush goes on vacation. Our president has spent one-third of his entire two terms in office either at Camp David, Maryland, or at Crawford, Texas, on vacation.

His time away from the Oval Office included the month leading up to 9/11, when there were signs Osama bin Laden was planning to attack America, and the time Hurricane Katrina destroyed the city of New Orleans.

Sen. John McCain takes weekends off and limits his campaign events to one a day. He made an exception for the religious forum on Saturday at Saddleback Church in Southern California....

It occurs to me that John McCain is as intellectually shallow as our current president. When asked what his Christian faith means to him, his answer was a one-liner. "It means I'm saved and forgiven." Great scholars have wrestled with the meaning of faith for centuries. McCain then retold a story we've all heard a hundred times about a guard in Vietnam drawing a cross in the sand [which he may have lifted].

Asked about his greatest moral failure, he cited his first marriage, which ended in divorce. While saying it was his greatest moral failing, he offered nothing in the way of explanation. Why not?

He was asked "if evil exists." His response was to repeat for the umpteenth time that Osama bin Laden is a bad man and he will pursue him to "the gates of hell." That was it.

He was asked to define rich. After trying to dodge the question -- his wife is worth a reported $100 million -- he finally said he thought an income of $5 million was rich.

One after another, McCain's answers were shallow, simplistic, and trite. He showed the same intellectual curiosity that George Bush has -- virtually none.

"Can I touch your hair?"

John McCain graduated 894th in a class of 899 at the Naval Academy at Annapolis. His father and grandfather were four star admirals in the Navy. Some have suggested that might have played a role in McCain being admitted. His academic record was awful. And it shows over and over again whenever McCain is called upon to think on his feet.

I am sick and tired of the president of the United States embarrassing me. The world we live in is too complex to entrust it to someone else whose idea of intellectual curiosity and grasp of foreign policy issues is to tell us he can look into Vladimir Putin's eyes and see into his soul.

I wonder if this is what Bush saw when he looked into Putin's soul.

George Bush's record as a student, military man, businessman and leader of the free world is one of constant failure. And the part that troubles me most is he seems content with himself.

He will leave office with the country $10 trillion in debt, fighting two wars, our international reputation in shambles, our government cloaked in secrecy and suspicion that his entire presidency has been a litany of broken laws and promises, our citizens' faith in our own country ripped to shreds. Yet Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been.

I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him.

Olbermann on McCain

Apparently, Keith Olbermann has been reading the "John McCain, Liar" series here on the Triple-T.

He's Baaaaaaaaaack!

Chris Henry to resign with the Bengals.

Principles? Who needs 'em?

John McCain, Liar (yet another report necessitated by brazen liar John McCain)

McCain: "Gotcha, Suckers!"

That's it. John McShameless has officially jumped the shark. Wikipedia defines Jumping the Shark as follows:

Jumping the shark is a colloquialism used by U.S. TV critics and fans to denote that point in a TV show or movie series' history where the plot veers off into ridiculous story lines or out-of-the-ordinary characterizations, undergoing too many changes to retain the original appeal of the series. Shows that have "jumped the shark" are typically deemed to have passed their peak as after this point critical fans can point to a noticeable decline in the show's overall quality.

The term is an allusion to a scene in a 1977 episode of the TV series Happy Days when the popular character Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli literally jumps over a shark while water skiing. The scene was considered so preposterous that many believed it to be an attempt at reviving the declining ratings of the flagging show. Indeed, not only was Happy Days reflecting the superstardom of real-life shark-jumper Evel Knievel in the episode, but the series was wildly successful in 1977. Happy Days was the second most popular show on television in that year, behind its spin-off, Laverne & Shirley.

Jump-the-shark moments may be scenes like the one described above that finally convince viewers that the show has fundamentally and permanently strayed from its original premise. In those cases they are viewed as a desperate and futile attempt to keep a series fresh in the face of declining ratings. In other cases the departure or replacement of a main cast member or character or a significant change in setting changes a critical dynamic of the show. These changes are often attempts to attract their fans' waning attention with over-the-top statements or increasingly overt appeals to sex or violence.

The term has also evolved to describe other areas of pop culture including movie series, musicians, actors or authors for whom a drastic change was seen as the beginning of the end or marking the moment the subject is "past its peak." When referring to celebrities, the related term jumping the couch is often used if the moment is a personal act of "going off the deep end".

How else do we explain the latest lie from McPander's lips? In this one, McSwine steals a "cross in the dirt" story originally told by Alexander Solzhenitsyn based on his time as a prisoner of the Soviet Union.

I know what you're thinking: "Hot Rod, aren't you discounting the very real possibility that John McCain installed a flux capacitor into a DeLorean and traveled back in time to visit a Soviet Gulag and tell the story to Solzhenitsyn, immediately after which point the following exchange took place:

Solzhenitsyn: Wow, really?

McCain: Yep, that's exactly how it happened.

Solzhenitsyn: That's really good shit man. Say, on the off-chance that I can ever get together a story about my time in this Gulag, would you mind if I kind of adapted your experience to my own, so as to give my narrative a pivotal, transformational moment. Because I gotta tell you, there ain't shit happening here that could compare to that "cross in the dirt" story.

McCain: Well, I don't see why not. It's not like anybody would call me out for ripping the story off from you. But if anyone did, I'll just tell them about that DeLorean parked over there. The media will buy it - they love me. War hero and all. Beaten for five-and-a-half years, you know....

Think about it Hot Rod!"

Touche! You got me there. In making the mistake of getting all caught up in facts and reality, I had not thought of that possible explanation, which the mainstream media would buy hook, line, and sinker.

But on the factual side of the ledger is the following, from the Jed Report:

For starters, here's precedent for McCain distorting his history as a POW and for plagiarizing material.

1. During a June visit to Pittsburgh, he retold a POW story involving what he said was his favorite football team, but swapped out the Packers in favor of the hometown favorite Steelers.
2. He recently defended his preference for ABBA's "Dancing Queen" by citing his POW experience, saying that he has not been interested in music published since then. Dancing Queen wasn't published until two years after he returned from Vietnam.
3. In a recent speech on Georgia, McCain plagiarized at least three passages from Wikipedia's history of the country.

As for the story itself, the details of McCain's version of Solzhenitsyn's "Cross in the Dirt" story don't add up. Specifically:

1. As first reported by kos diarist rickrocket, McCain's story is nearly identical to a story told by Alexandr Solzhenitsyn.
2. In McCain's version of the story, a guard who had befriended him later drew the cross in the ground.
3. According to McCain's 1973 retelling of his experience, there was only one guard who he considered human, and that guard befriended him in 1969. (kos diarist Calouste made this connection, which extends into the next two points.)
4. This means that McCain's Christmas story would have taken place in 1969.
Between when he met that guard and Christmas of 1969, McCain changed prisons. Unless the guard followed him to the new prison, McCain's story is not true.

There is also a ton of circumstantial evidence raising doubts about McCain's story:

1. In McCain's early stories about his POW years, he made no mention of the story.
At a 1974 prayer breakfast arranged by Ronald Reagan, McCain did not tell the Solzhenitsyn story. He told a completely different one about a prisoner scratching a prayer into a wall. It is unimaginable that he would not have told the "Cross in the Dirt" story if it were true. (kos diarist TomP linked to another version of the prayer breakfast story, but the link was a dead link.)
2. There is no evidence McCain ever told this story before 1999.
McCain's story has shifted subtly over the years since he first told it in 1999.
3. McCain (or, more likely, his ghost writer Mark Salter) is a huge fan of Alexandr Solzhenitsyn.

Also, as pointed out here, McScam's 1973 account of his time as a POW contains no reference to this touching exchange with the guard.

In a later post today, Andrew Sullivan explores the topic more, and questions whether this remarkable event ever happened to anyone, or if it is part of some kind of right-wing mythology for rent. He concludes,

There is no way to know for sure what happened between two people in a prison camp in an incident to which no one else was a witness more than a quarter century ago. And it's perfectly possible that all of it is true, if muddled. But when a candidate tells a story that doesn't really add up with his previous accounts, and when he runs a campaign ad based on that story whose imagery is closer to someone else's account than his own, when a life changing moment is forgotten for a quarter of a century until a critical campaign when an appeal to conservative Christians was vital, the question is worth fleshing out - and I will gladly air any evidence that emerges in McCain's defense.

John McCain will literally say anything the circumstances call for. What a shitball.

Charlie the Unicorn

Um.

Bonus points to whomever can explain these cartoons. All I know is that if I wasn't sure I'm not on acid, I'd question whether or not I was.



And part 2:

Breaking News: Politician Has Double Standard

The political world is shaken to its core as a once prominent politician seemingly has a double standard.

John Edwards (D-NC), who recently admitted to having his own extramarital affair, commenting on the Clinton-Lewinsky affair in 1999, “I think this President has shown a remarkable disrespect for his office, for the moral dimensions of leadership, for his friends, for his wife, for his precious daughter... It is breathtaking to me the level to which that disrespect has risen.”

Apparently not breathtaking enough. Larry Craig (R-ID) could not be reached for comment.

America is aghast. Carl Eisenrod, a rider on the Market-Frankford El in Philadelphia comments, “I thought that guy was Tom Cruise?”

Marcus Jones a steelworker from Middletown Ohio thinks “the other woman” is attractive but not “cheat-on-your-wife hot.”

Mary Fitzpatrick a bartender in Boston paints an even grimmer picture, “What’s the next foot to drop, we’ll find out a politician let campaign contributions influence their votes… could you imagine.” Now that’s a scary thought.

Yahoo! Asks: What’s that black stuff?

True to their hard hitting journalistic nature Yahoo! asks, “What’s that black tape on Olympic Beach Volleyball star Kerri Walsh's shoulder?” Rumors for the black tape range from the need to hide a non-Nike sponsor tattoo to medical purposes. Fortunately Yahoo! was able to get to the bottom of this mystery. This reporter would mention the answer here but has already forgotten the true reason. However, it most likely is to cover up a tattoo of Hot Rod Lincoln.

But that does bring up another Olympic Beach Volleyball mystery. What’s that going through President Bush’s mind, or other places for that matter? Granted, very few men would turn down the opportunity to meet the Women’s Beach Volleyball team. They’ve been capturing the hearts and minds of America for years. But in the interest of seeming more Presidential and less creepy-old-guy-at-the-bar, the President maybe should have considered a less hands-on approach of supporting our Olympians. At least the World gets some classic photos of the ordeal.


Meanwhile, fans of Mother Russia should be happy to note that their President-in-shadow was out trying to recreate the good old days. But at least this volleyballer did not get sand in her backside.

Player to Be Named in Dunn Trade Includes Rob Lowe

According to a reliable source, the Cincinnati Reds will acquire Micah Owings, seen left with an obvious implied commitment to write for the TTT, from the Arizona Diamondbacks after the season is over. They would have picked him up sooner, but Reds' good friend and recent Latin scouting embezzler Jim Bowden decided to block the waiver transfer - he was able to do this because his team, the Nationals, where Reds go to die, sucks worse than the Reds themselves. It is also rumored that Owings ' transfer is being held up because he is injured.

The other player thought to be in the deal is Rob Lowe, the sex-crazed Hollywood Hunk who is currently battling sex charges filed by a former "nanny."

TTT caught up with Lowe, who stated, "It is an honor to be mentioned in the same sentence with the Big Donkey. I mean, what I could do with donkey dongs like his! This b*tch nanny wouldn't be alive today if I'd had the "talent" and raw-dog power of Adam Dunn - that boy is country strong!

Any Reds fans wanting to get a leg up on their peers in terms of Reds memorabilia might want to check out the auction of a Rob Lowe-autographed print of the new acquisition in his new uni.

Lowe is expected to be a Ball Boy.

Going National!

Park Hills, Kentucky in the house!! Check out the third "man-on-the-street" interview, about 10 second into this barack Obama ad.

Represent, motherfucker!!!!

John McCain, Liar (continued)

Huh???!!!

I'm sorry, Mr. McCain, could you say that again, and maybe a little slower this time? I'm sure I just misunderstood you, but I could have sworn you just said,

“in the 21st century, nations don’t invade other nations.”

But, um. I thought that we, ....uh, you know, back in 2003 .... oh, how do I put this delicately? Um ...

Well, sir, see, it's just that, I was under the very distinct impression - based on news reports, White House press briefings, and Republican talking points - that we in fact invaded Iraq in 2003.

Oh shit! I get it: does this mean we are not a nation???

TTT Exclusive: Stretch, Mark Reports from China Olympics

This just in from Stretch, Mark, who is currently in Tianjin, China, "on business." Stretch is traveling the Orient, traversing the entire Great Wall, looking to import some "quality products" for "use" in the U.S. While there, Stretch did some investigative work. TTT asked him to uncover flaws in the purportedly superior language abilities of the Chinese. In no time, Stretch uncovered some dandies, the first being at the USA - Japan soccer match:

"Notice the scoreboard pic? grammatics in china are hilarious -- "olympic mens football tournaments beijing." that's not even one of the worse. i saw one that said "don't drive tiredly" with a smile face type picture of a guy with Xs as eyes. classic. i saw one in an airport once that read, "please check in all alcoholics at the desk."

--Stretch, Mark, live & on location for TTT Action News

The Stretch-Man also discovered hordes of Chinese fans whose Anglophilia caused them to incessantly snap photos of anyone with remotely Caucasoid features. Take a look at this shot - the subject is a tall Dutch voetbal fan, garbed in traditional bright orange.Flash photographic chaos persisted throughout the match and was aimed at the Dutch fans, and while no one was hurt, one Chinese official thought they may have inadvertently set off some more of the fake fireworks left over from the Opening Ceremonies.

The Dutch were not the only objects of Chinese camera attention; reportedly Stretch had his photo taken dozens of times as he posed with assorted Asian admirers. At the suggestion that the TTT southeast Asian correspondent charge money to the picture takers, or, better yet, have them take shots of his Slim Jim, Stretch quickly explained: "they needed a wide lens for dong shots."

Wide lens or microscope?

So, Stretch, keep the photos coming, and in the next batch see what you can uncover about the country's "16-year old" gymnastic team. Maybe you can play tooth fairy and look for evidence under their pillows. Careful. Actually, all you may find in their rooms may be the Spanish basketball team, slumbering during their daily siesta, stomachs full of sangria and paella.

Tricky Trails, Stretch!

Hillary Clinton's Mom Thinks McCain Ad a Waste of Money

Hillary Clinton's mother doesn't share John McCain's sense of humor. McCain, the Republican presidential candidate, said last week that his campaign ad mocking Democrat Barack Obama with images of Clinton was part of an attempt to inject humor into the presidential race. On Sunday, Clinton's mother, Dorothy Rodham, a McCain donor, registered her disapproval.

Hillary Clinton, VP Contender? Uh? ::crickets::

"It is a complete waste of the country's time and attention at the very moment when millions of people are losing their homes and their jobs," Dorothy Rodham said in a short article posted on the liberal TTT Web site.

McCain on Friday denied that his campaign had taken a negative turn, saying, "We think it's got a lot of humor in it, we're having fun and enjoying it."

Dorothy, however, was unpersuaded, stating "a complete waste of the money John McCain's contributors have donated to his campaign. I'd rather watch my daughter's sex tape, or worse, a tape of Bill and Monica."

The Smell of Right-Wing Hypocracy

Sniff, sniff.... catch a whiff of this.

On the right-wing circle jerk known as the Hannity and Colmes show, conservative blow-hards were desperately trying to keep the John Edwards Affair alive ... to what end, I have no idea. As the Hot Rodette aptly pointed out Friday afternoon: "What does this matter? What is John Edwards even doing now?"

One thing he's not doing right now: running for President of the United States of America.

Oh, and pop quiz time: name one thing John McShame is doing right now. If you said, running for President of the United States of America, you're the big winner!

So Sean Hannity and company are blathering on and on about how Edwards' affair automatically disqualifies him to be president. This gives the Hot Rod a shiver down his spine, since he finds himself agreeing with this notion in the abstract - after all, if you can cheat and lie to your spouse and break those solemn vows, disregarding all of that "nonsense" about "upholding the Constitution and laws of the United States, blah, blah, blah ...." will likely be no problem. This creepy feeling of agreement with right-wing wack-jobs subsides as the Hot Rod thinks about the obvious fact that Edwards has dropped out of the race, thereby disqualifying himself, a fact which makes moot this entire discussion.

Then, in a moment of inspired, um, competence, Fuax News' token liberal, Alan Colmes, applies the logic being passed around to one John Sydney McCain. He asked, "if that’s true, you can’t trust somebody who had an affair, how can we trust John McCain to be president of the United States since he cheated, by his own admission, on his first wife? He didn’t keep his marital vows. He didn’t keep his pledge to his first family.” The conservative panel ran from that question with more speed, power, and agility than Minnesota Vikings' RB, Adrian Peterson.

Sean Hannity, unfazed, offered a vigorous defense of McCain - the explanation that justifies everything - that McCained had been beaten as a POW for five-and-a-half years in the Hanoi Hilton, and so, you know, cheating on and abandoning his first wife (who had been in a badly disfiguring car accident as McCained was taking his licks in Vietnam) for the eventual Plastered Trollop, a young, filthy rich, and erstwhile good-looking piece of ass, is understandable, acceptable, and (unlike the case of John Edwards) no cause to question the fitness of John McShame to be President.

Say, what was that Jonah Goldberg quote I found yesterday about black holes of stupidity .....

Because if I follow Hannity's point, John McCrook gets out of jail free for, well, everything I guess. After all, five-and-a-half years...

You can just imagine a McCain presidency now, can't you? "So what if John McCain (fill-in-the-blank-with-the-misdeed-or-perhaps-even-impeachable-offense-of-your-choice-here), he was beaten for five-and-a-half years ...."

Oh, what am I saying?? If I have learned nothing else since January 2001, it is that presidential accountability absolutely ends at Inauguration.

Video below:

In The Interests of Equal Time

No, not really.

This quote is from Jonah Goldberg, one of the gasbags of the neocon right. Maybe you've seen him on television. He seems like a pleasant enough fellow, although I usually disagree with everything he says. I found my way to this article of his online and came across this hilarious passage, which I was tempted to plagarize and put into one of my posts, but instead, I will just copy as a quote of the day:

I know — from painful experience — that there are lots of people out there who subscribe to the bumper-sticker slogan "peace through strength is like virginity through f**king." I had to argue with such folks through all of college (and much of high school). Such statements are black holes of stupidity — idiocy is crammed into such a small space that it folds upon itself and bends all reason and logic in its proximity.

Ridiculous extrapolations aside, that's a good zinger. Bravo.

A Big Donkey, a Dallas Buck and two PTBNLs

Adam “Big Donkey” Dunn was traded to the Arizona Diamondbacks today for Dallas Buck and two “players to be named later.” The people of Cincinnati, who have been exposed 270 big donkey dongs over the past eight years are not sure on how to take the news. Here is a break down of peoples’ reactions:

Rednecks – Extremely pissed off. Why? Number 44 “Git-R-Dunn” jerseys are no longer in style (they were in style?).

Perverts – Indifferent. Why? Don’t get them wrong, they loved admiring the donkey dongs; however, with Dallas Buck mustache day (a la Arroyo hair/hat day) they will be able to attend at least one game without looking extremely creepy.

People who admire good baseball – Very happy. Why? They no longer have to put up with the pointless HRs, the poor fielding, the .232 batting average, and the overall “donkey-ness.”

Cincinnati Zoo Donkeys – Grateful. Why? They like the attention Dunn brought to their kind, but they pale in comparison to his 500 foot dongs.

At the end of the day the Big Donkey and his dongs will be missed in the ‘Nati. There are now large, gaping holes left all over Cincinnati baseball, holes that were previous pleased by huge Donkey Dongs, most notably, the now-empty, echoing orifice of a certain sub-Mendoza, 5’7”, 135-lb centerfielder - his only contribution to the team.