McCain Spokeswoman's Logic Calls for Campaign-Wide Suicide Pact

The L.A. Times reported today that McCain's campaign emailed its supporters:

A video called "The One," which opens like a Hollywood trailer: "In 2008, the world will be blessed," giant letters promise. "They will call him, The One." It then cuts to shots of Barack Obama at his most messianic: "We are the ones we have been waiting for" and the by-now standard photos of hundreds of thousands of cheering Germans. The spot ends with footage of a bearded and robed Charlton Heston in "The Ten Commandments" parting the Red Sea.

In a week that has already seen the McCain campaign comparing Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, the new spot takes the, dare we say audacious, step of comparing Obama to the original celebrity.

On the campaign plane, McCain spokeswoman Nicolle Wallace defended the clip as just another harmless quip. "There is an important role for humor in political campaigns," she told reporters. "I think all of us would slit our wrists if there wasn't."

Slitting their wrists may be the best option for the McCain campaign because, as Wallace says, humor has an "important role in politics" (not that that would be exactly funny), and since there is nothing funny (or even remotely relevant for that matter) in the comparison of Obama with Britnaaayy and the Hilton Hotel everyone's slept in, ...err... with, except for maybe the fact that the linkage is so incredibly assinine that it makes me laugh a little after I vomit in my mouth, the McCain campaign is obviously not fulfilling this so-called "important role." Thus, by Wallace's logic, they should all, in fact, slit their wrists (shortly after putting on their Nike Air's and track suits and shortly before catching a comet to planet Patriot in the Freedom nebula).

Miss Wallace, unless you are serious about slitting your wrists and compelling others in your camp to do the same, you dorks might consider leaving political humor in the purview of Stewart, Colbert, and perhaps the only remaining watchable skit on SNL, Weekend Update...

...And, of course, for Nani and The Hot Rod, too.