Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Smell of Right-Wing Hypocracy

Sniff, sniff.... catch a whiff of this.

On the right-wing circle jerk known as the Hannity and Colmes show, conservative blow-hards were desperately trying to keep the John Edwards Affair alive ... to what end, I have no idea. As the Hot Rodette aptly pointed out Friday afternoon: "What does this matter? What is John Edwards even doing now?"

One thing he's not doing right now: running for President of the United States of America.

Oh, and pop quiz time: name one thing John McShame is doing right now. If you said, running for President of the United States of America, you're the big winner!

So Sean Hannity and company are blathering on and on about how Edwards' affair automatically disqualifies him to be president. This gives the Hot Rod a shiver down his spine, since he finds himself agreeing with this notion in the abstract - after all, if you can cheat and lie to your spouse and break those solemn vows, disregarding all of that "nonsense" about "upholding the Constitution and laws of the United States, blah, blah, blah ...." will likely be no problem. This creepy feeling of agreement with right-wing wack-jobs subsides as the Hot Rod thinks about the obvious fact that Edwards has dropped out of the race, thereby disqualifying himself, a fact which makes moot this entire discussion.

Then, in a moment of inspired, um, competence, Fuax News' token liberal, Alan Colmes, applies the logic being passed around to one John Sydney McCain. He asked, "if that’s true, you can’t trust somebody who had an affair, how can we trust John McCain to be president of the United States since he cheated, by his own admission, on his first wife? He didn’t keep his marital vows. He didn’t keep his pledge to his first family.” The conservative panel ran from that question with more speed, power, and agility than Minnesota Vikings' RB, Adrian Peterson.

Sean Hannity, unfazed, offered a vigorous defense of McCain - the explanation that justifies everything - that McCained had been beaten as a POW for five-and-a-half years in the Hanoi Hilton, and so, you know, cheating on and abandoning his first wife (who had been in a badly disfiguring car accident as McCained was taking his licks in Vietnam) for the eventual Plastered Trollop, a young, filthy rich, and erstwhile good-looking piece of ass, is understandable, acceptable, and (unlike the case of John Edwards) no cause to question the fitness of John McShame to be President.

Say, what was that Jonah Goldberg quote I found yesterday about black holes of stupidity .....

Because if I follow Hannity's point, John McCrook gets out of jail free for, well, everything I guess. After all, five-and-a-half years...

You can just imagine a McCain presidency now, can't you? "So what if John McCain (fill-in-the-blank-with-the-misdeed-or-perhaps-even-impeachable-offense-of-your-choice-here), he was beaten for five-and-a-half years ...."

Oh, what am I saying?? If I have learned nothing else since January 2001, it is that presidential accountability absolutely ends at Inauguration.

Video below:

1 comment:

Nani J. Cootsack said...

dude, you don't know what it's like being beaten for 5.5 years. If you did know, you would know that it makes you want to seriously tag some tail, primarily the tail of a girl nearly 20 years younger than you whose dad owned the largest beer distributorship in Phoenix. how could it be stopped. the only thing his first wife had going for her was the name Carol.