Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Double Your Pleasure, Action Jackson!

One showing clearly not enough, Sleuth Channel, which I hadn't even heard of until last night, ran Action Jackson twice, back-to-back to be specific, and ends the long-standing debate about whether or not Action Jackson needs a sequel.

It absolutely does not.

It is, in fact, its own sequel.

I mean, who can get enough of Carl's fine acting, especially the expression on his face when he sees Papa Doc's balls in a jar. That was Oscar-caliber.

I didn't check, but I would not be surprised if the film is being run on continuous loop at Sleuth Channel, likely soon to be called: Action Jackson Channel.

For the record, Papa Doc's balls were played by the craniums of Verne Troyer and Telly Savalas.

Also in the film is Craig T. Nelson, seen in the photo on the right. In the film, Nelson repeatedly threatened to get Dobber to gnaw Jericho Jackson's nuts off. Actually, the number of severed balls and balls threatened to be severed makes Nani wonder what was on the mind of director Craig R. Baxley and why he didn't cast John Bobbitt in some genitalia-centric role.

In addition to David Efron, father of High School Musical star Zach Efron, cast members include current Libertarian candidate for Kentucky senate, Sonny Landham. Landham, who, after appearing in classics like Action Jackson and Predator, seeks to join latter film castmates Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Jesse "The Body" Ventura as a state politician. Landham shook things up in Kentucky recently when he suggested genocide for Arabs and Muslims, referring to them as "ragheads." This coming from the man who couldn't kill just one Predator, much less a whole race of them. Good luck with that, Sonny.

Landham has also appeared on the white supremacist Internet radio show, The Political Cesspool, which is based in Memphis, Tennessee.

Imagine what Sgt. Jericho "Action" Jackson would do to Landham, who is looking more and more like Larry Flint, if he were to meet him today on his Detroit beat! I'd say someone would end up neutered.

Hot damn! That's your sequel right there! Someone call Jim Norton's bald head and see if he'll be willing to play Sonny Landham's balls!

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