John McCain, Liar; Dick Polman, Translator

McCain "suspending" his campaign (and dodging the debate) purportedly to be a statesman, in plain English:

McCain's statement, after it is scanned by the hogwash detector:

"It's clear that my poll numbers are crashing this week - even the Fox News pollsters have me going south - so I've got to try to do something, anything, to stop the slide. Which is why I want to stage a retreat from the first debate. Politically, the timing is very bad for me. I sure don't want to stand at some lectern and watch that upstart mock me for saying that 'the fundamentals of the economy are strong.' I don't want to be asked why I switched overnight from my long-held belief in deregulation to my newly-held belief in regulation. And I don't want Obama to remind people that he gave a speech, way back in March, talking about lax oversight of the sub-prime crisis and calling for major reform of regulatory policies. Heck, this economy thing is so big right now that my whole foreign-policy message is going to get drowned out. The polls already show that Obama is more trusted on the economy by double-digit margins, so why would I want to appear in front of the American people on Friday night and risk further erosion? That's why I'd rather go back to Washington, play the 'country first' card, try to look like a statesman, and if Obama doesn't do the same, maybe I can flail him for putting 'country second.' So that's my message: I want to cut and run from the presidential debate. I wonder if I can get away with this. Or, failing that, I wonder if they'll let me bring Gov. Palin on stage to stand beside me at the lectern. The crowds seem to like her."