"Coco Crisp almost a Red"

That was the headline at mlbtraderumors.com, which had me wound up for a second. Could the Reds really land a CF capable of batting 8th, or even 7th, in the lineup? Could it be?

No, it couldn't.

The Reds were out-gunned by the Royals, the powder-blue insignificance that reportedly, like the Reds, fields a collection of men who are paid professional contracts to play baseball in a fantastic stadium in front of people who spend their money to watch.

Let me repeat: the Reds were out-gunned by the Kansas City Royals. The Royals haven't done anything significant since two hooligan attendees of one of their games assaulted first base coach Tom Gamboa.

My favorite part of the baseball season has certainly tripped and stumbled out of the chute.

Walt Jocketty, what's next? Should we sign Mike Piazza to catch and sell haircare products?